Mental Health and it’s impact on your sexuality, erotic well-being, and/or sexual relationships
I have written about mental health several times before, and how it impacted our relationship. As most of you already know, the last (almost) three years have not been easy. Not for me, and not for Master T. Probably more so for him than for me. He had to (and still has to) deal with increasing disability. Forty-three years ago his left lower leg had been amputated because of a birth defect, and since September 2016 the problems started. Early 2017 he started using a walking stick and he knows he would never be able to walk without it. Where he always thought he would have to start using a wheelchair when he is about 80, he now knows reality is that it might be between now and five years. he’s 54 now. When these problems with his leg started, it fucked with his mental health, and he needed anti-depressants and therapy to deal with it. He’s off the tablets now, but we are still not back to where we were before September 2016.
Where were we before then?
Our D/s was strong, and we had sex two to three times a week. We had playdates with others, and made plans to have playdates with more people.
I really believe that I could’ve easily handled Master T’s physical and mental problems, was it not that early in 2017 we learned that my mom was terminally ill. From the moment we knew this, I stood by her side. I attended every doctor’s appointment with her, and went to her in the hospital every day I could, which was every day. When she moved to a care home, there as a period of about 6 weeks that I saw her four times a week, skipping some days on which my daughter visited her. Other than that, for the five and a half months since we learned how sick she was until she passed away, I was with her every day. The last six weeks I was at the hospital for the better part of the day, and the last 11 days I only left her side for about two hours a day. I spent the nights with her and watched the process as she let go of this life. It took its toll on me, but I never noticed until it was too late. In 2018 I broke down and realized I needed therapy, which really helped me. I will never again be who I was in September 2016, but I am in control again, more or less.
The things that happened in the past almost-3-years has left its mark on us. Not only Master T’s leg and his mental health had an influence, but he also had an iron and vitamin D deficiency. For the last two he had medication, but it took a long time to get this to improve. His iron now finally is at acceptable levels, but his vitamin D is only slowly increasing. The doctor advised for him to take cod liver oil in addition to the tablets he have, and I really hope this helps him to be more interested in sex again.
In the past three years our sex life has gone from having sex two to three times a week to having sex once every three months, more or less. The last time we had sex was after a week of Master T eating lots of fish, as well as sitting in the sun for almost an entire day. That night he had an erection as hard as I haven’t experienced it in years. He was as horny as I haven’t seen him in years. It was good. It was sexy. It was fucking glorious. That’s when I started searching: vitamin D and sex. And that’s when I came across cod liver oil; when I learned how a vitamin D deficiency could affect the sex drive. I am so glad the doctor mentioned cod liver oil too, and soon Master T will take this in addition to the vitamin D tablets he takes.
I hope this works. I hope soon we will see the turning point.
We are finally getting to a point in our lives we had been looking forward to for years: more freedom in our own house. No kids around. We have fantasized about this for years: me, naked, high heels, collar. Him making me crawl, whipping me, putting clamps on my nipples. Some of those things might not be possible anymore (age), but I would love if at least we could have sex abundantly without the fear that a kid might walk in on us.
Deteriorating physical and mental health brought us the erotic and sexual drought we are in now. I do believe we are heading for better times, and maybe it takes a couple of months more, but we will get there. We are strong together, and we will prevail.
No matter what.
© Rebel’s Notes