After reading Molly’s post, A Broken Spell, and telling Master T about it the next morning, out of the blue, I asked.
“Our D/s is not broken, is it?”
Of course I knew what the answer would be. I was, however, surprised at my own boldness for just asking the question. Even though I knew what the answer would be, deep down I wondered whether this would give him the opening to tell me that the D/s part of our relationship lies behind us. I mean, we haven’t really been D/s for so long, and we are still so good together, that there was a chance that he could say that it’s good the way it is, that we can just keep it this way, without the D/s.
Our power exchange has always been subtle. I think that many people who see us wouldn’t even notice that there is a power exchange between us. I am definitely submissive to him in all situations we are in, whether at home or out for dinner or visiting friends or family. People might not even notice it, but we know. We know that I check in with him about everything. I always let him make the decision. Are we going home? Are we going out for dinner? Are we having another drink? What will we do this weekend?
Now it’s not like I am not allowed to voice my opinion about anything. He values my opinion and I am allowed to express it, but it’s this thing in me that will always make me submit to his will. If I want to do something and he thinks I should rather not do it, chances are 99.9% that I will go with his decision. Not once has it happened that he was wrong about something. He seems to always knows what is best for me.
In our bedroom the power exchange is more visible, even if currently it’s only expressed in the fact that Master T puts my night collar around my neck every night. During the incredibly warm days and nights some weeks ago, he suggested to leave the leather collar off, but I protested; said it wasn’t that warm with the collar around my neck. Halfway through that same night I took the collar off because sweat was running from below it. Once again he was right, and he only put my night collar on again when the nights cooled down again. See, he’s mostly right about everything, and seems to know without doubt what is good for me.
Back in the beginning of our D/s relationship, the power exchange in our bedroom was even more visible. Master T was the one who decided when and how we would play. When we get back to a more active D/s life, it will be like that again. I like for him to be in control, and I know he always has my best interest in mind. He would never harm me, not in a physical or in a mental way, and he will always listen to what I have to say, but in the end do what he thinks is best for me. No, not thinks, but knows.
Our D/s relationship has our marriage as its base. As husband and wife we are partners, and we decide together about everything in our life, except the parts where I have handed control over to him: the sexual part, the part where my fantasies and desires live. I like for him to have that control and I like that the control he has also reach into the parts where we are husband and wife.
So, when I popped that question “Our D/s is not broken, is it?” and he assured me it’s not, I couldn’t stop there, I had to ask the next question, just to be sure: “We will get back to it, right?”
He assured me we will, and I know he is sincere about it. It might not look the same than it did before, but we will find a way to make it work for us both. And up to then: well, he’s the boss and always will be.
© Rebel’s Notes