Humiliation: Yes, or No?

I have only briefly written about humiliation before, where I have said that humiliation play is not my thing. It still isn’t. I don’t think it ever will be.

No, I know it never will be, because if anyone would ever humiliate me during a sexual situation (or any other situation for that matter), I would probably burst out in tears. And if I don’t, the tears will eventually come. And the doubt. And the believing what has been said is true. If I am told that I am bad at something, I will believe it. If I am told I am only good enough for x or y, I will believe it. If I am told I am a slut or a whore and that’s the only reason people want to fuck me, I will believe it. All of these things, and more humiliating words, will just fuck with my self-confidence and totally make me doubt myself and whether I will ever be good enough for anything.

But wait…

I’ve just written: “If I am told I am a slut or a whore and that’s the only reason people want to fuck me, I will believe it.”

When I wrote that, I meant that I will believe that the one who says that, sees me in a negative light. That they say it to humiliate me. But, Master T uses these words too when he fucks me. He tells me I am his whore; I am his slut. He even tells me to repeat it, to tell him that I am his slut and his whore. Why doesn’t that fuck with my mind. Isn’t that humiliation play too, or is it just dirty talk in the heat of the moment? That makes me look again at what I have written. What if those humiliating words are said during play? What if someone tells me I am only good enough to be fucked like dog while I am on my knees and they are fucking me from behind, will that fuck with my head? No, I don’t think so. What if I am told that I am bad at sucking cock and that’s why I have to be spanked first, will that make me feel bad? No, I don’t think so. I think humiliating words in the heat of the moment only add to the sexiness and make things hotter than they already are. That’s probably why I love it so much when Master T tells me I’m his whore, when he tells me that all I am good for is for my cunt to be fucked, when he tells me that he wants to watch while others use me.

Isn’t being used for another’s pleasure a kind of humiliation too? When all you are is the vessel for their pleasure?

Now where I say I am not into humiliation play, I am into being used. I have written about it more than once:

Okay, so you decide, am I into humiliation play or not?

© Rebel’s Notes

8 thoughts on “Humiliation: Yes, or No?

  1. I agree with what Floss says that this does sound like humiliation play to me. I think it is difficult as no one likes to be humiliated in real life. Why would they? But most people don’t like to be hurt either and yet within a BDSM relationship they may enjoy to be hit or spanked or bitten etc. The same is true of humiliation. Used in the right way and in the right context and by the right person it can be a powerful tool. It allows us to face some of the things which make us uncomfortable but in a way which feels safe. It peels us back and makes us vulnerable while at the same time letting us know that we are loved and accepted for what we are, weaknesses and all. I can relate to the feeling of wanting to be used as hot and enjoy that sort of humiliation too 😊

  2. It’s all down to consent, or agreed words and context.
    The alternative is far worse.
    In a loving caring d/s marriage you belong and are treasured xx

  3. As Floss said, there is definitely an element of humiliation in what you describe. I’ve always felt that embarassment is a big part of it…and discomfort…not necessarily hurting of feelings or breaking down of one’s self esteem. If the words or acts push you to feel or do things you wouldn’t normally, and they make you uncomfortable, it may be humiliation. But quite honestly, unless you are advertising, there is no real need for the label.

  4. Humiliation can be whatever you want it to be, it’s difficult to discuss because it is so personal to every person. If you enjoy it then it doesn’t matter, whether labelled humilation or not.

  5. To me there’s a huge difference between humiliation and submission. Humiliation has a connotation of hurtful power with no humanity. Submission is where the submissive voluntarily places his/herself under the benevolent control of another. I think we are all submissive to someone or something. But humiliation is aggressive sadistic behaviour in my opinion.

  6. When I first got into erotic humiliation it was because I read a book called ‘Enough To Make You Blush’ by Princess Kali, who excels at all kinds of humiliation play. One of the let things that books made me realise is that I didn’t ever want to hurt someone’s feelings, and I never wanted someone to walk away from a scene with me thinking any less of themselves. That book gave me so many more options though. I essentially just levelled up my teasing and learnt how to use embarrassment at a sexy tool. With consent of course. I also think tone, intent and word choice are everything. I suspect from what you have written, here and in other posts, that there are branches of humiliation that you do enjoy but perhaps only ever with Master T because he is the one who has earned your trust enough to take you down those paths. They make not be at the extreme end of humiliation but quite honestly I don’t think many people play with it in that way, of course, some do, but I think most of us are just dabbling a little bit and having a grand old time as we do it. I’m loving reading everyone’s thoughts on this subject x

    1. Floss, Loved reading your reply on this in addition to Marie’s post. Your comments strike me as very healthy and thoughtful. 🖤

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