I have only briefly written about humiliation before, where I have said that humiliation play is not my thing. It still isn’t. I don’t think it ever will be.
No, I know it never will be, because if anyone would ever humiliate me during a sexual situation (or any other situation for that matter), I would probably burst out in tears. And if I don’t, the tears will eventually come. And the doubt. And the believing what has been said is true. If I am told that I am bad at something, I will believe it. If I am told I am only good enough for x or y, I will believe it. If I am told I am a slut or a whore and that’s the only reason people want to fuck me, I will believe it. All of these things, and more humiliating words, will just fuck with my self-confidence and totally make me doubt myself and whether I will ever be good enough for anything.
I’ve just written: “If I am told I am a slut or a whore and that’s the only reason people want to fuck me, I will believe it.”
When I wrote that, I meant that I will believe that the one who says that, sees me in a negative light. That they say it to humiliate me. But, Master T uses these words too when he fucks me. He tells me I am his whore; I am his slut. He even tells me to repeat it, to tell him that I am his slut and his whore. Why doesn’t that fuck with my mind. Isn’t that humiliation play too, or is it just dirty talk in the heat of the moment? That makes me look again at what I have written. What if those humiliating words are said during play? What if someone tells me I am only good enough to be fucked like dog while I am on my knees and they are fucking me from behind, will that fuck with my head? No, I don’t think so. What if I am told that I am bad at sucking cock and that’s why I have to be spanked first, will that make me feel bad? No, I don’t think so. I think humiliating words in the heat of the moment only add to the sexiness and make things hotter than they already are. That’s probably why I love it so much when Master T tells me I’m his whore, when he tells me that all I am good for is for my cunt to be fucked, when he tells me that he wants to watch while others use me.
Isn’t being used for another’s pleasure a kind of humiliation too? When all you are is the vessel for their pleasure?
Now where I say I am not into humiliation play, I am into being used. I have written about it more than once:
- 22.08.2012: Used
- 07.09.2012: Used 2
- 11.11.2013: To be used…
- 24.04.2014: U is for Used
- 05.10.2016: Reflection: First Date with The Talker
- 12.12.2017: The Story of O (5) – To Be Used
Okay, so you decide, am I into humiliation play or not?
© Rebel’s Notes