Trust is the most important part of a relationship, closely followed by communication. I think that if you have those two things, everything else falls into place – your affection, your emotional connection.
~ Vanessa Lachey
I totally believe in everything that is in the quote above. Trust and communication are the pillars of our relationship, even though I am the one who currently have difficulty with the communication part of our relationship. The latter of course is because I don’t want to burden Master T with my needs. I know I have to talk, and he assured me I should, but I find it difficult as I am forever looking for the ‘right’ moment to do it. A moment that never seems to come.
Even though I always seem to choose the wrong moment and the words never come out the way I had them in my mind, I trust Master T to understand what I am trying to say and to have my best interest in mind. Had I not trusted him, I would have despaired after those moments when I meltdown. I would have been terrified that I had hurt our relationship more than I tried to help it.
My trust in him is immense. I trust him to protect me, even though I am the one doing more of the ‘protecting’ at this moment. I trust him to care for me, even though I am currently the caretaker. I trust him to love me, and I know he does, even though my stupid mind sometimes tells me otherwise. Without trust in our relationship, we wouldn’t have been as strong together as we are. Our love, our unwavering trust in each other, is what pulls us through difficult times, such as the one we are currently living in.
Ever since Master T and I moved in together I handed over all financial stuff to him. He’s the one paying all accounts, transfers money between accounts, decides on budges and shares and everything that has to do with money. This doesn’t mean that I am restricted in spending money; it only means that I trust him 100% to handle our money the best way he could, and whenever I want to know something he immediately answers me or shows me our accounts. Actually, he doesn’t even have to show me, as I have access to everything, but I never care to log in. At my work they have declared me insane for giving him full control, because many (female) colleagues feel he can cheat me with money. What if you get divorced and then you realize there’s no money left? they asked me. I didn’t even answer them, but only thought: obviously you don’t trust your husbands.
I trusted Master T from the moment we started talking to each other online, trusted him even more once I had met him and he had never betrayed my trust. He never will. He’s just not that kind of person, and that’s just not the kind of relationship we have. We are open in everything we do. I tell him when I flirt with someone, tell him when I am interested in meeting someone, and back when we still had our ‘play dates’ with others (and I hope sometime in our future will have some of those again), we were always together. That was and still is our ground rule: we are always together.
In the beginning of this post I said that trust and communication are the pillars of our relationship, but that’s not true. I should add love to that. Those three things – love, trust and communication – are the things that keep us strong. Sometimes the pillar of communication wavers, but the trust and love are always strong enough to pull us through.
© Rebel’s Notes