Categorizing Information

Food for Thought Friday

I frequently say that even if we try to hide ourselves, try to protect our privacy, the government still knows everything about is. In a way I really believe this. I really believe the government has the power to know every keystroke I make, to know where I drive to, to know what I buy in the shops, etc. etc. etc. Do I care? I mostly say I don’t. I have nothing to hide; I am not doing anything illegal, so let them know if they want to.

Even though I believe this, I still don’t just reveal everything to everyone. Recently I commented on a post by Nora Jean where I mentioned the level to which I share with people around me. Then came this week’s Food for Friday prompt and I thought it was a good opportunity to go deeper into this subject.

What are the things you hide from others because you worry that they wouldn’t understand?

The only thing I hide from about 95% of the people we see in our every day lives is our D/s relationship. I don’t talk about it to colleagues, to people at our regular hangout or to my children. I feel they will not understand why I would want to be submissive to my husband, even if I explain it to them. I had run a department at work, and in my daily life I make many decisions, so I feel people will not understand my submissive nature. Thankfully we have people in our lives where we can openly talk about our D/s, which balances out the big part where that isn’t possible.

One thing I never keep a secret is this blog, my space on the internet. Whenever the subject fits into a conversation, I will mention that I do write about sex, that I do have a very active sex blog, but I will never give the link to my blog. I have done this once before and it totally backfired. My kids and my colleagues and quite a number of our acquaintances know about my blog, but at the same time they know I will never give them the link to it. Actually, that’s not entirely true. Our son knows the web address as he has occasionally helped me when I had problems with html, but he doesn’t care and have no desire to read or see what I do. The girls are another story. They would die to know, and at the same time they don’t want to know. I don’t feel comfortable for the kids to see my images. It feels good not to have to keep my blog (which is a big part of my life) a secret, but to ‘protect’ both them and me and our relationship with each other by not giving them the link.

Do you “categorise” what you share about yourself differently with different people?

No, I don’t. That’s the quick answer…

… and then, when I think about it, maybe I do categorize it, but that’s not the way I see it. Like I said, I sort of filter the amount of information I give to family and colleagues about my blog, and I tell others everything. But, I asked myself, do I really? The answer to that is no. I don’t share everything about my kids or my work to the kinky friends, because I just don’t think that’s interesting enough for them to know. Also, they are not always interested to know the more mundane details. Quickly counting, there are only 5 people, outside of Master T, who I really share everything with. So I guess the answer to this then should be: Yes, I do categorize what I share with different people, but I don’t do it consciously.

Is there anything that you keep hidden away because you are ashamed of it?

The easiest will be to say ‘no’, but I am sure there is something. Only thing is that it’s nothing I can think of right now. I am a very open person, and I can definitely laugh at my own stupidities, or talk about things I have done in the past which might not have been the brightest things I have done. I believe we all learn through experience, and some of those experiences might be things we are indeed ashamed of…

Do you have a secret that you will never share?

My answer to this question is very much the same than the last one. There might be things I would never want to share, but I can’t think of any of the right now, and I don’t know if I will ever classify them as secrets. Like I have said, I am a very open person, and really believe that one should be able to talk about everything. Secrets only tend to become sores that, when it start to fester, only gets worse and worse.

Conclusion

When I started this blog and in the beginning of our D/s relationship I desperately tried not to talk about it when my mom or kids were around, and I did my best not to talk about it at my work. This is so against my naturally open nature, that I found myself sometimes not even able to have a proper conversation. I struggled with what and how much to tell, and Master T and I had lengthy conversations about it. Gradually we came to a point where we felt comfortable with the information we shared, and what we kept to ourselves, and I think the way it is now is the way it will stay in future. We don’t have to keep secrets from those close to us, and we don’t have to tell them everything either. It’s good the way it is.

© Rebel’s Notes

Food for Thought Friday

3 thoughts on “Categorizing Information

  1. I have only told a small handful of people about my blog. My best friend knows my pen name and could easily link to my blog, but doesn’t. I’ve mention that I blog to a few ppl, but only one colleague has some idea of what. No one has a link. I purposely keep my family out of my blog space. Makes get together less awkward

  2. I’m maybe not quite so open about my blog as you are about yours, but I recognise a lot of what you say in myself. The majority of my “filters” are unconscious ones stemming from the fact it just never occurs to me to mention certain things to certain people because they are just part of mundane, everyday life, or they just don’t fit easily into the conversations I am having.

    Whether or not people actually would find these things about me and my life interesting is irrelevant; unless some fact about me fits naturally into a given conversation, I probably wont divulge it. Not because I’m hiding anything, but simply that it just doesn’t register because there is no relevant context to attach it to.

  3. Hi Marie … thank-you for sharing a deep dive on this topic. It was helpful to read how you have managed this in your life. I too, do not like to keep secrets. I am also very open and sharing, so having this ‘other life’ is something I will either learn to live with in secret or perhaps over time, I will find ways, as you have done, to share the appropriate bits with those who matter most … nj … xx

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