Love Bites

love bitesNo. Just no.

I am not a fan of love bites.

No matter how much I love marks, love bites are not the kind of marks I want on my body?

Writing that, I asked myself: Why not?

Answer? Because I am ashamed of them. It’s something to be ashamed of. I’m ashamed of myself when I have one.

This all goes back to my teenage years when having love bites was something of a status but also something that should not be seen by adults because then they will know what you have done.

I still vividly remember the one and only time I had a love bite. Damn, seriously, I remember the mark and the aftermath but I have absolutely no idea who gave it to me. I just remember that I had this large hickey in my neck and I was terrified that my parents would see it. There was no feeling of pride or love as I looked at it in the mirror. Only shame. Only what-the-fuck-have-I-done. Back then we lived in Namibia (who the hell was the boy?) and temperatures there were always rather mild, but that day I wore a turtleneck sweater and claimed I was cold. My parents knew better and within moments my neck was exposed and there it was: a dark red, purplish love bite. They didn’t get angry. They laughed at me. I don’t think for one moment that they wanted to humiliate me, but shame washed through me and I swore I never ever wanted a love bite ever again. They are just not for me!

That feeling of shame where it comes to love bites is rooted in my system, and I don’t think that it will ever change. I have overcome many things I was ashamed of before, such as my desire to be ‘used’ by men, but how I feel about love bites will never change. Some years ago, someone (not Master T, because he knows my feelings about this) started kissing and sucking my neck and I immediately stopped him, terrified he would leave a mark. It felt weird stopping him in the middle of what should have been a moment of passion, but just the idea of how much I would hate the mark the moment it was there, made me stop him.

Yes, you can leave marks on my body with a flogger, a paddle, a cane or your hand, or even a Wartenburg wheel or a knife, but never with your kiss. That’s just not my thing.

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© Rebel’s Notes

6 thoughts on “Love Bites

  1. I’m 100% with you. I hate them, I’ve always hated them. A long ago ex used to pin me down and force them on me as a mark of ownership as I begged through tears for him to stop. Then the looks of derision and comments about me bringing shame on my parents.

    Sink teeth into me but I like to be able to hide my bruises most of the time.

  2. I know how embarrassing it can be when anything related to sex and your parents collide, so I completely understand where you’re coming from here. Thank for sharing! 😉

  3. I guess I never experienced that feeling of shame and in fact the ones I got as a teen I found oddly thrilling and I say oddly because at the time I was completely unaware of the fact that they clearly were a gateway drug to more marks that I wouldn’t discover until much later in life


  4. I feel the same way. I don’t like my face or neck marked. It’s one thing to be marked elsewhere and knowing is there…hiding under your clothes…and a fully differ thing to be exposed for public ridicule by people who don’t understand.

  5. Marie, What a thoughtful post and a fascinating read. I love reading things that help me understand the way things feel inside another person and you’ve done a really good job of explaining your feelings. ?

  6. I don’t mind giving them if my partner is into it, but not in a place that’s easily seen. It’s not a natural/instinctual thing for me, either — there are so many other ways for me to mark someone.

    Receiving love bites? When I was young I didn’t mind as long as they weren’t easily visible. But now? Nope. Not into it at all.

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