Films/TV/Porn – Similar to reading about sex, watching sex can definitely influence what we think or feel sexually. Write about the films, television shows, or porn that have shaped your sexuality.
I haven’t grown up with Internet, and there was absolutely no access to any porn on television back in my younger days. The most intense movie of the time must have been Blue Lagoon.
I can’t remember when I watched porn for the first time, with whom I watched it or what I watched, but I know from the moment I have seen the first moving images, I was intrigued. And excited. At first I loved all kinds of porn, but quite quickly I realized that I don’t like the fake moaning in the movies, and I definitely don’t like come shot where the woman sticks out her tongue and a man comes in her mouth, all visible to the camera. Where I do swallow when I suck a man, I just don’t want to see it. Somehow it totally grosses me out. It might be that for this very reason – the come shots in porn – I haven’t swallowed (or even sucked) until deep into my thirties.
Like so many others, porn was something I watched in secret. I couldn’t let my second husband know that I watched it. I was ashamed of myself. Porn was something to be ashamed of, right? No ‘normal’ person watched it. How wrong I was back then! It was an eye-opener when I got together with Master T and we watched porn together.
By the time I met Master T and we occasionally watched porn together, I knew what I liked and what I definitely didn’t want to see. Thankfully, even in this, Master T and I have more or less the same taste, except that he likes the come shots.
Back in those days where I watched porn by myself, there was one specific porn clip that was my go-to for a wank. Somehow I lost track of the clip and no matter how hard I searched, I just couldn’t find it. However, when I closed my eyes, I knew exactly what happened… the ‘innocent’ girl who came in for an interview, and who is sexually explored while her interviewer filmed everything… the ‘innocent’ look in her face… the hot way he pushed one finger, then a next, and a next inside her…
I really wanted to see that clip again, but thought it might have been removed from internet. Then, about two months ago I thought of it again and in bed, I typed in the one search term after the other, and suddenly, there it was! I have no idea why I couldn’t find it before, but there it was. Finally! Of course this time I made sure I saved the link, and let’s be honest, blogging about it at least means it will always be here on my blog, right.
Conclusion: just like with books and magazines, porn has helped me to understand my own sexual preferences. Watching ‘harder’ sex excited me, especially when there was a spanking scene. Watching porn where there was something of an ‘examination’ or ‘innocence’ excited me too. Examination as in doctor-patient role-play porn, and ‘innocence’ speaks for itself, especially when you look at the clip above. Both the latter tapped into my kink of wanting to be used, to be the subject of someone else’s desire, which of course fed my own desires.
We don’t watch that much porn nowadays, or rather, Master T doesn’t. Every time I masturbate, which currently isn’t that much, I watch a porn clip. It just makes my solo-orgasm so much better!
© Rebel’s Notes