Today February Photofest starts, and during this month I will be combining this annual meme with other memes I want to participate in. Enjoy!
The Erotic Journal Challenge: Exploration
Currently our sex life is the lowest it has ever been. I think we average having sex about once a month, or even once in six weeks. That’s way down from the twice a week or more we had before. I know age can eventually be of influence, but mostly with us it’s because of Master T’s health condition and of course the mental lows I’ve had in the past two years.
With me feeling stronger again and my mental health improving, I notice that I am thinking about the future a lot. Not only for practical things, but also regarding our sex life. I wonder if our sex life will ever get back to where it was. If it does, it will be brilliant, but what if it doesn’t? Will I be able to continue the way it is now, with very little sex?
Currently I am content with how it is, but my mind has wandered along some lines. Not so much regarding sex, but regarding D/s. I would love to be spanked again, love to feel a flogger or a paddle or… even the cane. I want to experience subspace again; want to feel small, yet so strong and powerful. I don’t know if Master T will ever be able to do this again, and somehow I would love for him to ‘appoint’ someone to do this. Of course, in all the scenarios I have in my head about this, Master T is always there, always part of everything. There’s nothing in me wanting to be with another man without Master T’s presence.
I think this is the main thing I would like to explore: to find a way in which we can continue some elements of our D/s without too much physical strain on Master T. He still dominates me in many small ways, and the times we have sex (as I write this, I have a smile on my face as last night we had sex, and boy was he strict), he makes it clear that I am still as much the submissive and he the dominant as we were before. Not only in what he says, but also on what he does.
One of the things that come to mind, and this is because I read Bibulous One’s blog that I thought of this, is to book a spanking session, where Master T can watch. Better even would be if we had someone in our circle of friends who would be willing to give me a spanking on a regular basis. And here I don’t mean every week, but once a month or even once every two months would be brilliant. This is something I want to discuss with Master T, but I don’t know how to start about it. I find it as difficult to start on this, asking something for myself, as I find it to initiate sex.
Maybe that is something I should explore: how to ask for something I really want, regarding sex and sexuality this is.
While I figure this out, I am content with how things are now. As long as there is a connection with Master T, I am not too worried that there are little sex. Somehow, deep in my mind, I think the situation will resolve itself, with time, and we will be back even stronger than we already were.
Something else I am exploring this month are some older photos.
Syl and I had several visits where we took photos of each other, but mostly at my home when the children were in school. On 8 March 2003, we had planned a photo session at her house. We retreated to her bedroom for photos, and took turns to take photos of each other, but we also put the camera on a timer and quickly assumed the position to also have photos of the two of us together. The longer the photo session lasted, the wetter I became. You see, I had this crush on Syl and I wanted nothing more than her to go down on me, or for me to go down on her. But the only thing that ever happen between us, was the day in the sauna.
This image shows my wetness of that day, and every time I look at it, I wish she had taken advantage of my obvious excitement, especially since she told me to show her…
© Rebel’s Notes