Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.
~ Brad Henry
It’s about time I write this post.
I have been thinking of the words ever since I learned that I have made the number one spot on Molly’s list of Top 100 Sex Blogs 2018. Like I have said on Twitter and in other posts, I never doubted that I would be on the list, but not for one moment have I thought about making the number 1 spot.
I am truly humbled to be there, to see my name there on the top, and you know what, readers, I have secretly been back to Molly’s site several times to check, and yes, I am still in the number 1 spot. Molly’s words were:
Rebel has been in the top 10 of this list for that last few years as her blog is always of a consistently high standard, however over the last year her writing has taken on a new depth and vulnerability as she has tackled a number of difficult subjects relating to her life including grief, depression and the loss of her sex life due to her husbands illness. She has written about these subjects in such a raw and honest way never shying away from the difficult aspects and that is something I hugely admire about her. As well as this she continues to be a force for good within the community, running Wicked Wednesday and of course this year the amazing Smut Marathon. She absolutely deserves this number one spot for being a truly awesome sex blogger.
When I started blogging about my mom’s passing, about Master T not being well, about my own mental health and the loss of my sex life, I never did it to ‘get attention’ but because I needed to write. I needed to tell the world what was happening even if the world never read it. I needed a place to put my thoughts, my fears, my pains and my tears, and the only place I knew to put that, was my blog.
Is my blog.
There is no place else I can put it. Want to put it.
Yes, I can talk to my husband. I can talk to my best friend. My daughter. A colleague. An acquaintance. I can talk to so many people, but in the end I always needed to write about it. I have grown up as ‘the girl who talks so much’, but somewhere in the past years someone once said to me: “Yes, you talk a lot, but you keep the things that truly matter to yourself”. It was a remark that stayed with me, and which I looked at from all sides and I realized: yes, I do talk a lot, but when the feeling comes too close, I either don’t react or I steer the conversation in a different direction. I don’t do that on my blog. Here I tackle things head on, because this is my safe haven. My spot. The one place where I won’t hurt anyone if I just… talk.
Having Molly mentioned this specific thing in those precious words of her, validated this part of my personality. I can have the intention to do more of this in real life too, when I talk face-to-face to people, but that is just not part of my personality, I guess. I might be able to do it at times, but if I can’t, I will just keep on writing.
When I made it to Molly’s number 1 spot, I mentioned on Twitter and in some other posts that it’s the crown on my hard work.
The something else happened…
… the finalists of the UK Blog Awards 2019 were announced. I first saw it on Twitter, and my name was mentioned too. When I saw the first tweet I didn’t want to believe it. How could I be there? Then a second tweet came and they mentioned a letter from the UK Blog Award team. I switched to my email, looking for the mail, but didn’t see it.
It was only when I checked through my mails a second time, this time also paying attention to the titles of the email and not only the sender, that I saw it: CONGRATULATIONS! You’re a finalist in #UKBA19
It was true!
I was one of the eight finalists in the sex category, together with Molly Moore, Girl on the Net, Ella Scandal, Quinn Rhodes, Miss Eve E, Amy Norton and Jaye Rose. Except for Jaye Rose, I know all the others. I read their blogs. One of the first things I realized was that I was the only non-UK blogger between the eight finalists, and, call me whatever you want, but this makes me even more proud to be in this line-up.
Not only the number 1 spot on Molly’s list, but also being one of the eight finalists for the sex category in the UK Blog Awards, is the crown on almost 9 years of blogging… 8 years fully active on Rebel’s Notes (the first year I was still ‘finding my feet’), 6 years of running my meme, Wicked Wednesday and now going into the second year of the Smut Marathon. Yes, it’s hard work and I often call it my second job, but it’s damn rewarding and the job that energizes me to keep on going.
From where I sit here behind my desk at almost 1am on a Saturday night, I want to thank everyone who nominated me for these lists, for those who voted for me in the UK Blog Awards, for Molly and Michael for their hard work and for the organizers of the UK Blog Awards. Not for one moment do I think I will win the latter, but just being there on the list, between those amazing bloggers, has not made my day, but my year.
PS: I have deliberately used an image from the brilliant Netflix series ‘The Crown’ as the featured image, because it’s one of my favorites and I am in awe of Queen Elizabeth, and the English monarchy!
© Rebel’s Notes