Love Matters


Shame on me! This is the first time this year that I am participating in the Food for Thought meme this year. I really want to support so many memes, and have seen every week’s question on the F4TFriday site, but I couldn’t combine it with anything else. Also, I believe in one post a day (although I am trying hard to skip some days, but up to now it has happened only once!), hence the reason I had not participated before.

Okay, with that said, let’s get to the questions for this week. It’s all about love, love, love! Love is such a beautiful thing, whether it’s love for your partner, or love for your parents or siblings or friends. Love is just beautiful!

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

Just like has been said on intro for this week’s question, I believe that being in love and loving someone are two different things. I have been in love with Master T and still have days that I am in love with him, but mostly I say I love him. You see, to me ‘being in love’ is the beginning phase that leads to ‘loving someone’. Loving someone is more lasting, but being ‘in love’ to me means you can also fall ‘out of love’.

Of course this question made me think of the people I am in love with. There are two men and three women… but I am not going to tell you who they are…

How does these differences colour and effect the way you interact with that person?

The first thing that came to mind is that when I love someone — in this case, Master T — I am comfortable to show all of me, to lower my defenses, to be vulnerable. When I am ‘in love’, I still have some defenses up. I don’t know whether the other person will accept me as I am, whether their feelings for me are the same as mine for them, and therefore I am slow to lower my defenses or show any vulnerability. I try and mostly succeed in being in control always, protecting myself from possible hurt.

I have been hurt too much in the past, because I trusted too quickly and my vulnerabilities were used against me. I guess my experiences have made me more careful to just be me, because of the rejection in the past.

Where sex is involved, does the emotional layer affect its quality?

The answer to this question is more or less the same as the previous one. I seem to have my guard up when I make love to someone I am ‘in love’ with, but not when I am with Master T, who I love. However, since our ground rule is that Master T is always in the room whenever I am with someone else, there is a ‘halfway’ point in this, as during sex I might give more of myself than I would, for instance, in a conversation. Still, I wouldn’t give everything, the way I do to Master T.

Where do lust and desire fit into this?

Lust and desire is part of what makes me give more of myself during sex than during a conversation. If the person in question knows which buttons to push, or reads my body correctly, some of my defenses may lower and they might get closer to the me who just lets go and who gives all she has. But, if they don’t, lust and desire might wane some.

I think — no, I know — the best way for me to give more of myself to people I am in love with, is when love and desire takes over. I might not give everything, but I with my defenses lowered some, I will give more.

Still, in the end, Master T is the one who gets the full package, who gets everything I have to give, simply because he is the one I love, and the one with whom I can be myself.


Source image: Pinterest
© Rebel’s Notes

Food for Thought Friday

5 thoughts on “Love Matters

  1. Don’t apologise; we all know how busy you are, and “real” life has to be made time for too.

    I agree, love is beautiful whether or not it involves sex. I’ve always held that the two are separate but also complementary in the “right” circumstances.

  2. A lovely post Marie, I echo what others have said. If you can lower your guard and feel safe to do so then that pretty much sums up love.

  3. Oh i found that so interesting about – when u are in love u still have some defences up – i so agree – and games are still being played, that you drop when you are loving – great post x

  4. This makes so much sense to me and I know exactly what you mean about lowering your guard so that you can be vulnerable. It isn’t easy always to trust but the rewards are huge.

    (Btw this was my first F4TFriday of the year too so I will hang my head in shame alongside you ?).

    Great post

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