The Affair of the Necklace

steel collar with o ring
I’m still looking for a steel collar like this without an O-ring

Over the years I have frequently written about collars… collars I wear during play, day collars, night collars, what wearing a collar means to me and much more. Just search for collar on my blog and you will see my Story of O collar (which still is my favorite ‘play’ collar), my very first night collar, my search for a day collar, my Swarovski day collar, and the necklaces I have recently bought and am now wearing as day collars.

In July of this year I said I felt like a fraud for not wearing a day collar anymore. Only three months later that had changed, as I started wearing day collars again, this time in the form of two necklaces which I alternate, both showing the BDSM symbol. I realized — and Master T assured me — that even though we are not active in our D/s at this moment, it’s still there. The commitment is still there, and occasionally it has started showing again during sex.

One thing that never stopped (and I forgot that when I wrote that post back in July), is wearing my night collar. Even during his lowest depressed moments, and no matter in how much pain he was, once we are in bed, the first thing Master T does is to reach for my night collar to put it around my neck. The only nights I haven’t worn it was when I was sick.

To some it might seem insignificant to feel down when I don’t wear a collar (whether for day or night), but to me my collar has as much significance to me as my wedding ring. I am married to Master T, and to me my wedding ring represents everything that we are as people, our union, our love.

So what then, if my wedding ring encompasses everything do I need my collar?

My collar represents that one piece of us that was always present, but which we only acknowledged and gave a name when we made our D/s commitment. Our relationship became stronger when we made this commitment; there was a deepening, an awakening of something.

My wedding ring allows me to be a wife and mother, to be a woman who is loved. My collar allows me to be who I am. To stand in the world with confidence, knowing I am loved, knowing I am owned, knowing I belong.

With my ring I am his; with my collar I am ALL his!

© Rebel’s Notes

3 thoughts on “The Affair of the Necklace

  1. Whilst we aren’t married so don’t wear each other’s rings, my collar means I am his even if I can’t physically wear it right now.

  2. Your story serves as a great reminder that BDSM isn’t just about what we do as kinksters. As you so elegantly wrote: “I realized — and Master T assured me — that even though we are not active in our D/s at this moment, it’s still there. ”

    BDSM is about who are. Thank You!
    Amelie & Mark @

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