Benefits of Using a BDSM Dating Site

online dating

As all of you know from reading my blog, Master T and I have made a D/s commitment some years ago, but due to all that happened in our life in the past two years, little has come from any dominance or submission.

However, we are healing and who knows what 2019 will bring. This has me thinking of renewing bonds with people we have engaged with before, but also about meeting new people. Now we have never used a BDSM dating site, or any dating site at all. Most of our contacts have come from social media, and yes, some of those contacts didn’t work out. Still, I started wondering what the benefits could be of using a dating site, maybe something like BDSM Dating Only, but also what things one should be on the lookout for, what the positive and/or negative experiences can be.

Trying to figure it out for myself, might give you some ideas too, so here goes…

Targeted searches

When people are on Twitter or Facebook or other social media, they might not be forthcoming that they are looking for a partner (whether for short- or long term). Sometimes, the only way to learn this is to start talking to them, or have them start talking to you and somehow reveal what they are looking for. On a dating site this is different. There this first step has already been taken, as you do a targeted search: you search for someone who matches with you. Since both sides know what they are looking for, it makes it easier to get in contact, since there’s a case of ‘common ground’. One thing to keep in mind is that when you are looking for a BDSM relationship, not to sign up on a ‘vanilla’ dating site, and vice versa.

Truth or Lies

Even when you like what you have read in the profile of the other, don’t presume all of it is true. This is not to say that there are lies in every profile, but just that we all tend to make the truth just a bit more beautiful when we are writing about ourselves. I think this is because it is so damn difficult to write a piece about ourselves. Be realistic about what you read, and know that the other side will probably do the same with what you have written about yourself. It’s through the first communications online, and continued communications that you get to know the real person. But not only that, writing one another takes away a lot of the pressure of a face to face meeting, which helps you to figure out whether there is a connection or not. For some people meeting face to face when you know nothing about the other is absolutely terrifying, and that’s where a dating site can be a huge benefit.

Meeting many people

Obviously when you are on a dating site you don’t have to limit yourself to only one or two people, unless of course that is what you want. A dating site gives you the opportunity to meet many people, and eventually only keep those in your life who really add something to it.

Boundaries, Limits, Wishes

I could have made this title a lot longer, but essentially, talking to someone through a BDSM dating site, you can discuss the (sexual) things you like and don’t like. You can discuss limits, discuss things you would like to try and make known the things that you never want to experience – your hard limits. Of course this is something you can discuss face to face too, but I personally find it easier to first discuss this from the safety of my computer, before discussing it sitting across from someone.

Seeing Someone Before Seeing Them

On most dating sites there is a possibility to chat face to face to the other person. If not, there are always other online possibilities too. I know this is another way that can help to lower the threshold towards a face to face meeting. This way you can see someone and have them see you, before you sit across from each other for the first time.

Conclusion

Internet has made it easier to get in contact with people across the world, but also to find like-minded people in your own home town; people who you might never have met otherwise. Especially when you are looking for something specific, like a BDSM relationship, dating sites make the first steps of meeting others a lot easier. We haven’t used a dating site before, but as they say: never say never…

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© Rebel’s Notes

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