Collar of Duty

Some weeks ago I tweeted an image of one of my new day collars. I needed new one since my Swarovski collar, after wearing it for years, started leaving black smudges on my neck. We thought we could clean it and it would be good for wearing again, but it turned out the collar was just not good anymore.

One of my day collars
A subtle BDSM symbol

Hannah Lockhardt replied to my tweet.

Hannah Lockhardt's tweet

This made me think.

When is something you wear around your neck a collar?

Searching for ‘BDSM collars’ on Google you see the traditional collar, mostly leather or a leather-like material and with one or more o-rings attached to it. I love my leather collars, love feeling the leather around my neck and against my throat and the most exhilarating feeling of all is when Master T hooks his finger through the o-ring to pull me closer. These leather collars are worn during our sessions and occasionally I sleep with one of those. I have a designated sleep collar which is also of leather and with an o-ring but the leather is only about 1.5 centimeters wide.

Ever since my Swarovski collar disappeared into a drawer, I have been looking for a replacement. Searching for ‘day collars’ on Google only brought up the same as the above search. That was not what I was looking for.

Then I remembered that I bought two other day collars on Etsy and there I found another one. However, the o-ring wasn’t heavy enough to ‘hang’ on the chain. So my search continued. Now I have ordered several photo props from Wish before, which made me wonder whether they would even know what a day collar is. They did. I ordered several, thinking how lovely it would be to be able to alternate. But, I also searched for ‘BDSM’ pendants, wanting to wear those as day collars too.

Because you see, that’s what I told Hannah too: no matter what you wear around your neck – even if it’s only a black shoestring – if you and your partner declare it a daily symbol of your submission, then that is what it is.

In my opinion, it isn’t about doing it wrong or right, but doing what works for you and your partner.

As I am writing this, I am wearing a different day collar.

The BDSM symbol
Another of my new day collars

And… I am watching the mail because there are more to come!

© Rebel’s Notes

8 thoughts on “Collar of Duty

  1. These are absolutely lovely! I also agree that it doesn’t matter “what” it is as long as it has significance to you and your partner. Also, I’m all for having something that can be worn out in the general public that doesn’t raise eyebrows. lol

  2. The only time I wear a fitted collar is the purple (of course) leather one I wear when we scene — which is rare. I hate having anything too close to my neck (except that collar) — I don’t even like wearing turtleneck shirts.

    I wear a necklace with a heart pendant (that locks) that hangs loosely around my neck, but not so loose that I can pull it over my head. It was never given to me as an official collar. We don’t even call it that. But because JB gave it to me, and because I wear it every single day, it’s got the same symbolism to both of us as a collar. And I feel very naked when I do have to take it off (usually for medical procedures).

    That being said…I loooooooove that top image and would love a collar/necklace like that.

  3. This is the best way to look at it. As long as it means what it does to you in your partner that’s whats important. And I love both necklaces

  4. This is a great post and it made me reflect on my own. For years I wore a day collar necklace with a central ring then when it broke accidentally I got to choose a replacement and went for two different ones. As others have said, it’s more about the symbolism and hidden intention behind it, as opposed to what it is, that holds the power and connection. Beautiful images by the way! X

  5. This is lovely, I like the symbol, it’s like your tattoo.
    I agree – if you attach the meaning to it, it is definitely representative of your collar pledging to your master.

    I also want to digress to admire your epic nail – what a lovely manicure, is that from your spa day? xx

    1. Thank you, Posy.
      I have my nails done once a month and my nail lady is brilliant. They are not from my spa day though ?

  6. I used to warrant a leather bracelet as my day “collar.” As you say, whatever works for you and your partner.

    Your new day collars are lovely.


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