Some weeks ago I tweeted an image of one of my new day collars. I needed new one since my Swarovski collar, after wearing it for years, started leaving black smudges on my neck. We thought we could clean it and it would be good for wearing again, but it turned out the collar was just not good anymore.
Hannah Lockhardt replied to my tweet.
This made me think.
When is something you wear around your neck a collar?
Searching for ‘BDSM collars’ on Google you see the traditional collar, mostly leather or a leather-like material and with one or more o-rings attached to it. I love my leather collars, love feeling the leather around my neck and against my throat and the most exhilarating feeling of all is when Master T hooks his finger through the o-ring to pull me closer. These leather collars are worn during our sessions and occasionally I sleep with one of those. I have a designated sleep collar which is also of leather and with an o-ring but the leather is only about 1.5 centimeters wide.
Ever since my Swarovski collar disappeared into a drawer, I have been looking for a replacement. Searching for ‘day collars’ on Google only brought up the same as the above search. That was not what I was looking for.
Then I remembered that I bought two other day collars on Etsy and there I found another one. However, the o-ring wasn’t heavy enough to ‘hang’ on the chain. So my search continued. Now I have ordered several photo props from Wish before, which made me wonder whether they would even know what a day collar is. They did. I ordered several, thinking how lovely it would be to be able to alternate. But, I also searched for ‘BDSM’ pendants, wanting to wear those as day collars too.
Because you see, that’s what I told Hannah too: no matter what you wear around your neck – even if it’s only a black shoestring – if you and your partner declare it a daily symbol of your submission, then that is what it is.
In my opinion, it isn’t about doing it wrong or right, but doing what works for you and your partner.
As I am writing this, I am wearing a different day collar.
And… I am watching the mail because there are more to come!
© Rebel’s Notes