So Many Firsts

Like many other people of my age, I have had quite a couple of firsts in my life. First time I went to school, first time I rode a bike, first time I had a sleepover with a friend, first time I started working, and so on. But, obviously for this blog I want to concentrate on some sexual firsts.

My mind wanders…

I was 15, almost 16 when I lost my virginity. No, that’s not right. I didn’t lose it. I gave it to my boyfriend. Deliberately. Because I wanted a baby. I had my reasons, but those were the reasons of a panicked child. Before I could come to my senses, I was pregnant. You see, my daughter was born nine and a half months after that first time ever I had penetrative sex. By then I was two weeks overdue and scheduled to be induced on the Monday. She decided to show her face two days before that.

I was twenty when I got married for the first time, and twenty-two when my first divorce was a fact.

The first time I ever had sex with a woman was in 2014. I have never questioned the fact that I felt attracted to both men and women, never had discussions about it, never found it ‘strange’ or felt that I was ‘different’. It was just part of me and never a conscious thought and also never something I specifically pursued, to have sex with a woman. If it happened, it happened, if not it would be okay too.

Then I met him…

I knew he was married (the first time I got involved with a married man), but I totally ignored that, until he said he wanted to introduce me to his wife. Long story short, he wanted his wife to ‘teach’ me about sex between two women, and honestly, she taught me a lot. But, I was not in love with her. I was in love with him. I fell out of love with him when he abused both me and his wife, and I realized that the only way he could get an erection was when he saw his wife and me together. The relationship ended after almost ten months with me leaving the country to come to Europe.

One thing I had been curious about but never tired or pursued in any way, was anal stimulation. Then I got involved in a relationship with a man who grew weed. I was so ‘innocent’ that I didn’t realize what he did until it was far too late. He also talked about space cake but I never asked him what it was. I was only told the day after I had two slices, and was fucked in the ass for the very first time.

The first time I ever cheated while in a relationship was when I was married for the second time. Things were not going well (not an excuse) and while I was visiting my country of birth, I arranged to overnight in a hotel with someone I fancied a lot. I knew I was cheating, but lust clouded my judgment and made my juices flow. Before I spent the night with this man, we talked online a lot. Imagine my disappointment and unhappiness when, after that night in the hotel, he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. No reasons given. He just never was available anymore.

One of the firsts that is more recent, but that has been repeated several times after that, was to have my husband watch while another man fucked me. By the time this happened for the first time, we had already had some playdates, but I was never fucked by the other man there.

However, the meeting we had planned was for me to get an erotic massage and to be fucked, while Master T watched and took photos. It happened just like that. The massage was divine (also a first) and something I definitely want to experience again, but our agendas just never line up properly. The fucking was great, but it took some time for me to give me over to all sensations and not constantly worry that Master T was not okay with what happened right before his eyes. We’ve had more of these experiences and I hope that there will be more in the future, but I will never forget that first time!

Every life is filled with many firsts. Each of those firsts teach us something more about ourselves. And sometimes, even if you do it for the umpteenth time, it’s still as special as the first time you did it. What? You choose…

© Rebel’s Notes

Food for Thought Friday

3 thoughts on “So Many Firsts

  1. This was really interesting to read Rebel and made me think how strange the twists and turns our life takes and how opportunities present themselves sometimes when we don’t expect them. missy ?

  2. Isn’t it amazing just how many “firsts” we chalk up during our lives. Some of them are wonderful, some fairly ordinary and some absolutely terrible, but every one of them go into making us who we are. Thanks you for sharing.

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