So what about you and role playing? Do you love to slip into your nurses outfit or police uniform? Does role playing fit into your relationship/dynamic? Do you have a favourite role or scene or have you explored multiples. Do you actually rope play a whole scene or is dressing up the only aspect you like to indulge in? Maybe there is a fantasy you have always wanted to explore this way but never done? Or maybe you have, was it all you dreamed it would be or do you wish you had left it as a fantasy?
I am not into role play at all.
There was a time, many many many years ago – back in my youth – where I definitely engaged in a form of role play. Oh, how many times have I been one of the villains, together with my brother, and two cousins who had the same age as we did. Our older cousins were the ones chasing us and when they caught us, they locked us up. Also, how many times did I have a tea party with my dolls and bears. That is a form of role play too, right? Back when we lived in Namibia I strolled into the woods not far away from where we lived, cleared the bushes between some bigger trees and that became my ‘lair’. I ‘stole’ wool from my mom and bound it around the trees, leaving an opening for the ‘door’. I spent many afternoons after school there, enjoying being outside and having a space for myself. Yes, I played out some fantasies there too, but nothing sexy. That too was role play, in a way.
The older I got, the more I moved away from role play. It’s just not for me. There is something about seeing myself in the role of anything, be it nurse, patient, suspect, client or secretary that I just cannot handle. Even just thinking of it makes me feel ridiculous already. Not only ridiculous, but insecure and afraid I might not be able to play my role the way it’s expected of me. So, I just don’t do it.
Let me say here, that this is about me. If role play is your thing, power to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with role play, if it works for you. It doesn’t work for me.
There is this one thing though… role play happens in my head.
For instance, if I would be in a situation where someone uses medical instruments on me, examine me, probe me and do other ‘examine-y’ things to me, I can slip into the role of patient very easily. Tell me beforehand that you are the nurse/doctor and I the patient, and it will not work. Just set the scene, order me to lie down and start doing what you would have done if you told me about it beforehand, and I am totally okay about it. The same goes for locking me up, taking me prisoner and punishing me for whatever I have done wrong. Leave it to my mind to fill in the details and it will be okay. Tell me beforehand that I am the prisoner and the scene will be one huge flop.
All of this goes back to two things:
- the fear of being a failure, of not being able to live up to the expectations of my role;
- the longing of having things done to me.
No, I am not into role play at all, but I am into playing any kind of role where things are done to me and my mind will quickly pick up on the scene you have set and fill in the details to such an extent that I am a wet, horny mess.
‘Traditional’ role play just isn’t my thing.
© Rebel’s Notes