You’re in a club/bar/other location. You’ve spotted someone who has taken your fancy. Glances have been exchanged and their body language is an invitation to approach. You walk towards them, trying to come up with a good opening line, and then…
Yes, we’re talking chat ups.
Do you have a tried and tested chat-up line?
Have you ever used, or had a really corny line used on you? Did it work?
Are you calm and confident, or are you like Jeff?
Oh dear… chat-up lines.
I have been in the situation many times that I have seen someone in a bar or a restaurant or any other social gathering, that I take interest in. However, I will never walk up to anyone and chat them up. Never. I am far too shy for that. I don’t even do that with people I know, et alone with strangers. There is just something in me that stops me from thinking and no words will ever come to me.
It’s not only that, though.
It’s that I start doubting myself. You see, suppose I sit on the other side of the bar from someone I find interesting and I see the person looking at me with interest too. We exchange smiles. We avert our eyes. We look at each other again. Smile. Avert. Look. Yes, there definitely is a mutual interest. Then, the doubt start. No, he’s not really interested. It’s pure coincidence that he looked at me at the same time I looked at him. He smiled because he’s polite. There is absolutely nothing in me that will even think of standing up, walking over and using a chat-up line to have a conversation with him.
If he comes to me, that’s a different story. I don’t even listen to the first line. No, that’s not true. I do, but it doesn’t matter which chat-up line he uses on me, I will definitely not remember it. No matter how corny it is, I will not even notice. Yep, that’s the kind of girl I am, I guess. Once the conversation is underway, I will flirt and I will smile and I will touch – his arm, people, his arm – and I will ask things I want to know. Then I can have an animated and lively conversation, as long as I don’t have to make the first move.
Writing that, I thought about something that happened this past weekend. We were at our regular hangout and I was having some ice cream chocolate truffles (it was delicious!). This man came in from the terrace to pay his bill, look at me, smiled and said: “May I have a bite?”
Thinking of it now, this might have been a chat-up line, but I looked at him with disgust and said: “No!”
“Not?” he asked in surprise.
I turned my head away and the woman behind the bar noticed my irritation. The man had a bit too much to drink and after he had paid his bill he came to stand right next to me, almost touching my arm. He was too close. In my personal space. Every fiber in my body tensed and I had to do my best to control my anger and not make a scene.
“Do you like it?”
His voice was soft and friendly, but I wasn’t interested and I was irritated.
“Enjoy it,” he said and started to leave. At the door he turned around and smiled and I just turned my head away. Yes, I can be a bitch like that. He might have tried to show his interest, but since I wasn’t interested at all, and he invaded my personal space from the very first question, I was being bitchy.
Something else I know about myself is that I sometimes see too much in chat-up lines. If someone come to me, chat me up and sit flirting with me all night, I believe they are really interested. When we see them a next time and they only greet me, but there are no conversations, it almost feels like rejection to me. Thankfully I have Master T to remind me that it was a nice night, that the conversation was right for that night and that I should not expect anything else to come from it. This helps me to have no expectations when I see the person again, but it doesn’t always help, especially if I really fancy someone.
I’m kind of complicated, right?
© Rebel’s Notes
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The A to Z Blogging Challenge
The Letter Q
In this fifth year of participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I am taking words from my regular post starting with the letter of the day, and looking at the meaning of those words. Today is for words starting with ‘Q’ and since there is only one word with that letter in this post, that is the word I will look at.
A question is a sentence where you require information from someone else. In writing you always end this sentence with a question mark. When you ask someone something, you pose a question to them. Synonyms for question are ‘enquiry’, ‘query’, ‘interrogation’, ‘examination’.
© Rebel’s Notes