Arousal. It’s one of those things that is sometimes difficult to define.

I read those words a couple of times as I wondered just how I can define my own arousal. My thoughts wandered to how I have many times wished that I had known my body better when I was younger. It’s only in these last years, that I have started noticing things in my body, understood the needs of it and learned what I like and what I don’t. Before that I seemed to have been sleeping, or – and I know this part is true – I have been busy living life, trying to catch or evade the curve balls it threw me.

Is there anything that is pretty much guaranteed to arouse you?

Even though I am much more in touch with my body and its needs now than I have been many years ago, I still look at the sentence above and have no idea how to define my own arousal. I can read the signs of my body when I am aroused, but I cannot tell you just what caused the arousal.

Sitting here, I try to think of situations where I knew I was aroused and now, in hindsight, I try to find the reasons for it. Was it someone I saw? Someone I thought of? Was it a friendly word from Master T? Maybe a memory I had of times we had together? Was it morning, afternoon or evening that I noticed the arousal? Maybe it happened because I read something online?

There is only one of those questions I can answer: the arousal never strikes in the morning. I am definitely not a morning person, so waking up and feeling horny almost never happens to me. Mostly, if I would masturbate in the morning or would want to have sex, I might have been awake for quite some time already. But there is never any desire in me to have sex the moment I wake up. Afternoon and evenings are different though. If I take a shower in the afternoon, chances are the hot water will arouse me. But, is it the water? Was the arousal not there already and the water only enhanced the feeling?

The same with wanting to masturbate when I am in bed – when did the arousal start and what caused it? I cannot give you the answer to this, because I just don’t know.

I cannot answer the question, because I have no idea what is guaranteed to arouse me. I can see someone I really like and the one time I will be aroused, the next I won’t. Master T can give me a hug and a pat on the bottom and the one day it will arouse me, the next it will only bring a smile to my face. The same with reading stories: they are never guaranteed to arouse me, even if I read the same story twice.

Do you have any “go to” tips, tricks or techniques that you use to arouse yourself and/or your partner?

At first, when I read this question, I wanted to say ‘no’. Because, if I don’t know what arouses me, how can I have any “go to” tips, tricks or techniques? But, then I thought a little harder and I had my answer: connection. If there is something that can turn me on and make me want someone, it’s connecting with them. Sometimes only a look in Master T’s eyes will wake the butterflies in my tummy and wet my cunt. If he hugs me in bed just before we want to go to sleep and runs his hand down to my bottom, it can be the very thing that makes me moan in such a way that he knows I am aroused. The same goes for anyone that has been ‘approved’ by Master T to have sex with: I need the connection, otherwise the arousal will never happen.

Connection is not only in the eyes or the touching, but also on the interaction between two people. There are some people we had play dates with in the past that have done nothing at all to keep in touch with us. If we see them again, the company will be great, but since there has been a period without any kind of connection, I might not feel “into it” at all. I need to be able to connect with people. I need to feel that they want to be with me, that I am not only as someone they can have sex with, but that they like me for me too. If there’s no connection, there’s no arousal and no sex.

I guess in the end this means I still cannot define my own arousal, but I do understand a bit more of what I need to be aroused.

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© Rebel’s Notes

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Food for Thought Friday

A to Z Blogging Challlenge 2018

The Letter E

In this fifth year of participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I am taking words from my regular post starting with the letter of the day, and looking at the meaning of those words. Today is for the letter ‘E’ and I have chosen to look at ‘even’, ‘evenings’ & ‘eyes’.


This word, as an adjective, means smooth or flat or everything on the same level, but also that some things are equal or equally balanced.
However, it’s using it as an adverb that is more interesting, as you can use it to show that something us surprising or unusual, for example ‘He wasn’t even there’, but you can also use it to emphasize a comparison, for example ‘The cost of living will be even higher next year because of inflation.’ A third use as adverb is to use the word to be more exact or detailed about something you have said, for example: ‘She is very sexy, hot even.’


Evenings are the part of the day between sunset and bedtime. That is the way most people think about it, but when the days of summer get longer and you go to bed almost at the same time than when the sun is setting, does it mean you didn’t have any evening? Therefore, what we do is that the evening starts at 6pm and lasts until bedtime. That way, at least, you have evenings, even in summer!


The most obvious meaning of this word is that you use your eye(s) for seeing. This is a noun, but ‘eye’ can also be used as a verb. When used as a verb, it means that you look at someone or something with interest, for example: ‘She eyed me during dinner.’

© Rebel’s Notes

3 thoughts on “Arousal

  1. Connection is key for me too, at least inasmuch as my ability to become aroused-by/interested-in another real-life person is concerned.

    One of the biggest ways that connection manifests itself for me is through humor. Shared interests and physical cues (like eye contact) are all well and good, but what really does it for me is the FUN factor. Making a connection with another person through laughter is definitely a turn-on. (Probably because the deep-belly muscles I use when I laugh are the same muscles that get a workout when I orgasm. 😉 )

  2. Yes to the connection! He could do just about anything to me if we have the connection, but without it its *meh*. Thanks for clarifying something for me…xx

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