Continued from… LCHF #16: Six Months
Background, written on 8 May
My last post was in December 2016, just before Christmas. During the Christmas period I gained almost two kilograms, which I shook off by the end of January and by the end of February I had lost another two. As you all know by now, at the end of January we learned that my mom is gravely ill. She ended up in ICU halfway through February and was only discharged from hospital a month later. It was somewhere in that time that I started eating things I shouldn’t. Bread, because I had to eat something when I visited her and they just don’t have healthy food at the cafeteria at the hospital. And you know how it goes… I kept on finding reasons why I am allowed to eat unhealthy things. My birthday, my grandson’s birthday, an evening out, visiting friends, our vacation. When our vacation started at the end of April, I promised myself that the moment we started working again – 15 May – I would be back on the LCHF diet.
The week of 15 May
I weighed on Monday morning and wasn’t shocked at all to learn that in 2.5 months and with all I have eaten, I had gained a total of 7 kilograms. I could see it on my tummy and my thighs and I knew I had eaten so much cake, so many sweets and drank more alcohol than normal that it would have been strange if I had gained less.
During this week my main goal was to get back into eating healthy and to get my stomach and intestines to settle again, because all the carbs and sugar I had been eating have done me no good. During this week I noticed that I constantly craved to eat something, so every evening I ate some of my dark chocolate. I managed to keep to the diet for five days. Saturday has always been my day of eating what I like, but withing certain limits. This weekend was different. Both on Saturday and on Sunday I ate chocolate and fries and crisps, fully planning to get back to eating ‘properly’ again on Monday.
During this first week of trying to be back on track, I have lost 2.5 kilograms and noticed that it was mostly on my tummy and thighs.
The week of 22 May
As well as I did it in the past week, just as bad I did it this week. Mom was admitted to hospital on Monday. My breakfast and lunch was perfect, but dinner was a quick bite in hospital. Mom wasn’t doing well at all and this made me realize just how much of a stress eater I am. Every day I managed to eat a LCHF breakfast and lunch, but with dinner, every time, I ‘fell off the wagon’. And, I started craving sweets again, seeking comfort in it, but feeling utterly bad about it afterwards. Not only mentally, but physically too. At times I felt bloated, but still I could not stay off the sweets. By the end of this week I decided that I just don’t have the energy to concentrate on getting back to eating LCHF. I will, when the opportunity is there, but if not (read: when visiting mom in hospital), I will just try to ‘contain the damage’. This made me feel a bit more relaxed about my food. There is just not enough space in my head to concentrate on what I eat.
I didn’t even weigh myself at the end of this week.
The week of 29 May
I gave it up this week. I am just so worried about mom, sad. Terrified of what’s coming. I am trying my best to watch what I eat, but I notice that I ‘need’ sweet stuff when I am stressed and when Master T offers me a glass of wine, I am just too weak to refuse it. I really want to get back to the LCHF way of eating, to get rid of the stomach ache I occasionally have, and the bloating, and I will keep on trying, but I am not going to be too hard on myself when I don’t succeed. Not at this time, under these circumstances.
I am, however, keeping an eye on my weight, because I don;t want that to run up too high again. If needed, I will take action! I know I can!
To be continued… LCHF #18: Famous Last Words
© Rebel’s Notes