I told my mom

(Written on 12.02.2017)

By now most people following me know that my mom is gravely ill and she is on ‘borrowed time’. Our lives have been turned upside down, and I have never seen the inside of a hospital as much as I have since the end of January. On one of those early days, just after we found out about the cancer, mom had to be in hospital for an entire day. Sitting in her hospital room, watching the drops dripping into the plastic tube connected to the needle in her arm, we talked about many things.

The subject of my brother and his ‘crooked mind’ came up and that lead to us talking about the fact that my mom had a relationship with her boss when she was still married to my father. I knew about that and have known back at the time. But, the subject of her having a relationship with a different boss when she was single and he was married, was also discussed. My brother judges her for the latter and wants her to apologize to him. Yes, seriously. He also wants me to apologize for the way I lead my life (even though he knows only about 1% of what I do).
“No way I am going to do that,” I told my mom, “and what’s more, he will have a heart attack if he knows all I do.”

It was quiet for a while. Mom was obviously thinking of something, and I definitely was too.
“I know you have suspected this for a long time,” I said, “but when I joke about my ‘boyfriends’ I am serious.”
“I know.”
“They are not boyfriends in the real sense of the word,” I continued, “but they are lovers. I don’t have a relationship with them and I never see them alone. T and I are always together. That’s our ground rule.”

I had already told my mom that there were some people from the erotic writing and Twitter community I had invited to my birthday. Sophia and her partner were invited too and since mom knew that we had spent some weekends away with them, I told her that we do have sexual relationships with them. I made it clear that Master T in no way wants to be with another woman but that his joy comes from seeing me with others; to see that I am having ‘fun’. I didn’t say as much, but mom clearly understood that I am involved with Sophia and not with her partner. I think mom has known for a long time that I am bisexual, but it is something we don’t need to discuss.

I continued to tell mom about others…

The Traveler and the fact that I was sad what he wasn’t in the country anymore;

Major Eric whom we haven’t seen at all last year, but hope to meet for coffee and maybe dinner again in the next weeks;

The Talker with whom we had one playdate and possibly would have another sometime this year;

Mister Silent, who I can’t wait to have a playdate with, but whom I have also invited to be present at my birthday celebration. I told her of all these men, only Mister Silent is single.

“I suppose all these people know how to be discreet?” Mom asked, and I confirmed that.

“I look forward to meeting them,” she said and I knew she really meant it.
(Note added on 07.03.2017: Mom never met any of them as she was in hospital on my birthday.)

I never gave her any details about what happened during our dates, but I didn’t have to. She might suspect the BDSM part of our relationship and she might not, but she respects the fact that we live our lives the way we want. For the first time ever, mom told me that she once had a foursome with her second husband and she didn’t like it at all.
“But at least I have tried it,” she said.

We have talked more about this after that day, but never as long as we did that day in the hospital. It was a relief for me not to have to hide that much from my mom anymore. I have always been close to her and have actually always told her everything, which had made it difficult to me not to tell her how much these people mean to me. She never once asked, but I have assured her that there is nothing stronger and more important than the relationship between Master T and me. That it always comes first and that if anyone we date with threatens our relationship, we will break off all ties with them. But I had also mentioned that the people I had told her about, are all respectful and will never try to damage my marriage in anyway.

I felt even closer to my mom after that day and even though she still didn’t have the full picture of our relationship – the D/s part of it – I was content that she knew and approved.

My mom rocks!

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© Rebel’s Notes

Wicked Wednesday

10 thoughts on “I told my mom

  1. My mother never knew how to be a mum due to her own sad upbringing so it brings me comfort to know that there is such wonderful mother and daughter relationship such as you have shown over here and the past few months. May your strength continue and that you are able to have more conversations with mum x

  2. Such an important conversation and one you’ll be able to keep close forever. You’ll draw such strength from the memory of it over years to come, I am sure! Xx

  3. Thank you for sharing this!! What a beautiful moment to have with your mom. I am so sorry that she is gravely ill.

  4. Marie, I am so so happy you had this very special time with your mother – that you both “shared,” and in fact have certain things in common. You will always treasure this. I’m so sorry she is ill and your family is going through the sadness and stress of her illness now. Wishing all of you strength and peace of mind in the days ahead.

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