I Will Do…

I will do what I deem necessary…

Those words have been spoken to me by Master T on several occasions and recently exactly the same words came up in a online conversation between Mister Silent and me.

What is it about those words that make my heart skip a beat?

I have to clarify here. Each time I heard those words, it was in a conversation about dominance and submission. It was when we spoke about being in a session and where I, in one or other way, tried to figure out what will happen to me. I did it by more or less asking, but mostly by hinting. My hinting can range from being serious or saying silly things, from being the little girl or a mischievous woman. Nothing works. I’m never told beforehand what will happen.

I don’t want to be told.

Yes, I ‘ask’.

No, I don’t want to know.

It was only after a conversation with Mister Silent that I started thinking about this. Why do I ‘ask’ if I don’t want to know. I do this with Master T all the time when I know we are heading for a playdate in a hotel. Let me rephrase that: I did this with Master T all the time… I don’t do it that much anymore, as I know he will not tell me anything. This doesn’t mean that I never try. And when I do, he says: “I will do what I deem necessary…”

Those words send shivers down my spine.

Delicious shivers.

Shivers of pure and lustful expectation.

Those words promise me that I will be used for his pleasure, that he will do to me whatever he wants, not taking into account what I might want. Sometimes I tell him things I would like to experience, but they don’t happen. They might happen, but always unexpectedly during a different session. Master T knows me like no other. Even if I hint at what I like, he will still only act when he wants to, and not because I told him.

Complex? For others, maybe. For us, it’s simple.

I never want to push Master T or any other man in any direction. I never want to tell them what to do. I want them to do what they want. I have written about it before: I want them to please themselves to please me. That’s my ultimate pleasure, even though I have asked or hinted before.

Now it seems there’s another man that understands how it works: Mister Silent.

We spoke (this was before my birthday) about a following date (which still has to be arranged) and about the anticipation we both feel. I was in one of my mischievous moods and tried to trick him into telling me what he wanted to do to me. Next thing, the words appeared on my screen:

“I will do what I deem necessary…”

Shivers ran down my spine.

Another man that gets it…

© Rebel’s Notes

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