I have never really thought about romance and what I find a romantic act or a romantic personality. Actually no, without really thinking about it, romance to me meant the classical love story: falling in love and living happily ever after.
However, Rye’s questions got me thinking…
How do you define romance? What to you is a romantic act or an example of a romantic personality?
How do I define romance? Of course I first look at my relationship with Master T. Did or do we have romance? We met each other online and fell in love without ever having seen each other. I fell in love with his kindness; he fell in love with my openness. I fell in love with his voice when we started calling each other in the small hours of the night (romantic, hey?) and maybe he fell in love with my accent. I don’t really know what triggered his falling in love with me and getting a straight answer from him is not always easy, but I remember that moment, two months after we started chatting and talking to each other and maybe two weeks before we first met each other in real life, when he said over the phone: I think I’m in love with you.
Now if that’s not romantic?
If I only look at how we are with each other, Master T and I. We support each other in everything. When I hurt my ankle two years ago, he got a wheelchair and walked behind it for several weeks so I could get out of the house. When several weeks ago he had so many problems with his prosthesis, I held his hand when he felt unsure and went everywhere with him, so he wasn’t housebound. We hold hands when we walk together (not only when needed), we kiss and hug if and when we feel like it. We constantly show our love for each other, even though we’ve been together for almost 14 years, married for 11.
Romance can be when you take your lover out for a candlelight dinner. Romance can be when you go away for a weekend to visit museums or walk in the woods or have romantic baths together. Romance can be when I get a dozen red roses from Master T. Romance can be when we celebrate the day we met every year. Romance can be when I write Master T a love letter which he only finds when he’s at work.
We don’t do any of those things.
Yes, we go out to dinner and we love spending time together, talking and having good food. The word romantic never occurred to either of us when we did that. We go away for weekends, staying in hotels and we fuck every chance we get, or invite others to join us. When we go out of the room, we walk around the city or maybe in the woods, but again: the word romantic doesn’t come up in us. I have never gotten flowers from Master T, because I always said I don’t like flowers. Only recently I started to buy flowers, because with flowers being grown in greenhouses they barely smell, meaning my allergies don’t play up. There are so many things that are considered romantic things, but we don’t do them.
Why or why not?
Because we have our own kind of romance. We spend as much time together as we can. We hug and kiss in the kitchen. Or at our regular hangout. When I feel the urge, I hop like a child towards Master T and kiss him. His sighing at my exaggerated behavior is so sweet that I sometimes do it for the reaction, not for the kiss. Sometimes we look each other deep on the eye and communicate without words. That can be in a public place or in bed at night. When in bed, many times we are drawn together and we kiss. A tender and loving kiss, exploring each other’s mouths as if it’s the first time we kiss.
We never stop to think about romantic things or whether either of us have a romantic personality. I think there are as many types of romantic personalities as there are people on this earth. What’s romantic to me, doesn’t have to be romantic to you. Ha, writing that made me think of: your kink is not my kink but it’s okay. Maybe that’s exactly the same with romance? Your romance is not my romance but it’s okay…
I’m afraid that even after writing this post, I can still not answer Rye’s questions. Romance is a personal and as public as our kink… and it might just be the same for other people too.
© Rebel’s Notes