Since my uterus have been removed at quite a young age, menstruation or the absence of it is not something I can use to ‘gauge’ my menopause. My nipples, however, is a different story. Now there was a time when my nipples were painful once a month, and I knew that this was part of my menstrual cycle. Gradually the frequency of my painful nipples changed to one in every two months, once in every three months and it now came to the point where I never knew when they would be painful.
When I am ‘in cycle’ as Master T likes to call it, my nipples hurt with the slightest of touches. Sometimes I only have to brush against them (covered with a padded bra and my dress) and I immediately feel the pain. They are permanently large and hard – which obviously looks great for images – but I cannot bear any touch. Master T knows this and he’s always careful with my nipples when they feel like this. He would never even think of pinching them when they are this painful.
It was our play night, but I had a massage appointment for the next day and Master T took in account that he couldn’t leave any marks on me.
“Ah okay, then you’re right,” I said.
“Of course I’m right,” he said and smiled (This is always his standard response to me when I tell him he’s right.)
“Since we’re in a hotel at the end of the week, you can leave marks on me then,” I said and the moment I saw his face, I knew I should never have said that.
“Pardon me? Since when do you tell me what to do?”
“Er… I… er… thought… er… I…”
“This calls for immediate punishment.”
When he reached over to my nipples, I cringed.
“No, please Mijnheer, no, not my nipples.”
“Get over here!”
He wasn’t gentle at all. He pinched and rolled my nipples, twisted them between his fingers and pinched again. I moaned and squirmed. I hoped that my body would take over like it always did when he pinched my nipples – that I would become horny. It didn’t happen. For what felt like hours, but probably was not even half an hour, Master T tortured my nipples, while telling me that he was disappointed in me. I knew I was wrong. I never before told him what he should do and I have no idea where this came from. Maybe it was a bit of disappointment that nothing happened that night, even though I knew he was right about not deliberately leaving marks when we knew I had to go to the masseuse. The words were out before I could stop them. Had I taken the time to think, I would never have uttered them.
By the time he stopped torturing my nipples, I was saying ‘sorry’ over and over again. I don’t think I would easily utter something like that again, but I know I will be extra careful to step over any kind of line when my nipples hurt the way they do when I am ‘in cycle’.
© Rebel’s Notes