H is for Humiliation & More

For this year’s A-Z Challenge I decided to focus on things that I have come across during our 5 years of active kink, and share my experiences and things I have learned, my opinion or things I am curious about. In each post I am using an image that has been used on my blog before, with a link to the original post.

Continued from… G is for Gangbang & More


We are totally not into humiliation. We know that there are people who love this – either to humiliate another or to be humiliated. We once had a playdate where a sub joined us, and she was totally into being humiliated. It was quite an awkward situation as none of the men wanted to humiliate her and she desperately wanted to be humiliated. This was something that was not negotiated before, which could be seen as a mistake on both sides. If I would be humiliated by someone, it would totally fuck with my mind but in a wrong way. The possibility of me taking whatever humiliating things is said to me during a playdate too seriously and having issues with it later is a risk I don’t want to take.

Hair Pulling

Now this is something I am totally into. I love when Master T pulls my hair and forces me to look at him, or when he pulls my hair to keep my head in one position. There’s something magical about the feeling, about not being able to move my head, about the pain as he pulls my hair, about being forced. Now I have a little confession to make: no matter how much I like hair pulling, even in the heat of the moment I am worried that it will damage my hair. That hair will be pulled out and my hair will get thinner because of that. I am proud of my hair and guess those thoughts are just a bit of vanity on my side.


When I think of harness, I think of two things: a rope harness being tied around my chest or a leather harness that is fastened around my chest. I have had the privilege to feel a rope harness around my chest several times and the feeling was really awesome. Master T is not into rope, which means that I have to wait until we meet someone who can do the tying. It’s been far too long since I have felt a harness around my chest. Now recently I started fantasizing about leather harnesses. I have seen several nice ones and wonder if this isn’t a solution to the need I sometimes feel to be tied. There is a certain kind of calming feeling that comes over me when I am tied in a harness and I am curious to know if a leather harness would bring me the same degree of calm.


There was a time when I said that I definitely won’t be able to handle a hood. Then I saw another woman wearing one and I noticed how calm it made her. I held the hood and the material it was made of made me think that I might… might… just be able to handle it. Ever since I have been curious about trying a hood, but up to now we haven’t. One of the reasons why I haven’t is that I get anxious when I lie on my stomach and the duvet is in my face. I have the feeling that I cannot breathe and that causes me to panic. But, who knows, maybe one day I will get around to try a hood for real and of course then I will be back to tell you weather I like it or not.

To be continued… I is for Impact Play & More

© Rebel’s Notes


7 thoughts on “H is for Humiliation & More

  1. Humiliation is not for me either. Like you, anything said or done would stick with me long after. I would take it to heart too much. Hair pulling, now that is something I need more of. Not the tentative kind either. I want to feel your dominance and intent in that action.


  2. Hair-pulling is so sexy, particularly in the heat of the moment! My ex and I had some kind of harness, but it was to help with positions, not so much for restraint.

  3. I love having my hair pulled, but I agree that it can be worrying that if done too much it weakens your hair. I don’t like the idea of humiliation. I would find it very hard to equate that someone who loved you could put you down so much, and after the session, it would certainly leave a bit of doubt as to how they viewed you. maybe it would work with a stranger because their opinion isn’t really important

  4. I like rope, and my girl likes rope. It helps that I am a yachtsman and know all about knots. I can imoblise her with a yard of chord and she loves the helpnessness. It helps even more that she knows I love her and won’t do anthing to make her feel anything other than erotic. As for humiliation, we are into BDSM, and I think there’s always a little humiliation there.

  5. Sometimes I have the feeling my Wanita is more into humiliation play than I am. I have to talk about that soon with her, we never really talked about that explicit. I think it’s wonderful if a submissive keeps her own personal values and sometimes even get pride and joy from being submissive. In that respect humiliation doesn’t fit in at all! I probably could not, even if I tried, LOL…
    We agree on the hair pulling…. It’s so exciting and wonderful. It’s just. Well. Wonderful.

    As is your post today,

  6. I love harnesses too and have both a leather one and something that is a bit lighter and is plastic. I love the feeling of calmness it gives me too. I haven’t tried rope, but would love to. Like you, my Master is not into rope, so it would need to be someone else who ties it.

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