C is for Consent & More

For this year’s A-Z Challenge I decided to focus on things that I have come across during our 5 years of active kink, and share my experiences and things I have learned, my opinion or things I am curious about. In each post I am using an image that has been used on my blog before, with a link to the original post.

Continued from… B is for Bondage & More


Nothing in the world of kink should happen without consent! Consent is not exclusive to BDSM relationships. I am treading on very thin ice here with the next statement: I dare to say that consent is discussed and present more in BDSM relationships than in any other kind of relationship. So many things in other kinds of relationships are taken for granted, where people in BDSM relationships are much more conscious of their own and others’ desires.
That said, I think consent should be present in any kind of relationship. Discuss your do’s and don’ts, no matter what kind of relationship you have.


This is something I crave. If I go without control for too long, I am like a train thundering on until it derails. I need Master T’s control or I will lose myself. Without his control, I am restless and I feel worthless. His control over me is something we have discussed and agreed upon. With this point we’re actually back with consent again, because I would not have accepted Master T’s control over me if it wasn’t something we have discussed before and I have consented to. Control is something I need. I need to know between which boundaries I can operate, what I am allowed to do and what not, what he expects of me. Without it, I am nothing.


I love clamps. I hate clamps. Sometimes I get so horny that I beg Master T to put clamps on my nipples. Other times he puts clamps on my nipples and I hate it. I love the pain when I’m horny. I hate the pain when he wants to hurt me. Not harm me, but hurt me. The clamps are mostly used on my nipples, but sometimes also on my labia. No matter where he uses them, it’s always the same: I have a love-hate relationship with clamps.


Original post: Day Collar
(click image to enlarge)

I love my collar.

Let me say that again: I love my collar.

Whether it’s my day collar, my night collar, my play collar, my punishment collar or any other collar Master T puts on me, I love it.

My collar is symbol of my 24/7 submission to my husband.

Crop & Cane

I like the crop more than the cane, but if I am allowed to choose, I choose a flogger above these two implements. Both deliver painful lashes, but I don’t fear the crop as much as I do the cane. The cane is mean and nasty and I prefer not to feel it, but I have to admit that there is one cane I don’t really mind feeling. It hurts too, but in a different way. The RVS cane delivers blows that feel like a deep tissue massage, but then a bit more painful. The moment the steel touches my behind, the feeling travels to deep inside. But, when Master T takes the fiberglass cane in his hand, I cringe. Feeling it on my bottom is like punishment… which sometimes I like.

To be continued… D is for D/s & More

© Rebel’s Notes


12 thoughts on “C is for Consent & More

  1. I like your down to earth views on Consent and Control. No Control without Consent, and maybe No Relationship without control for you. For us as well. I need to be in control as much as my Wanita needs me to take control. It’s one of the plus factors above a good vanilla relationship I think.

    Wonderful post,

    1. You’re right, definitely no relationship for me if there’s no control in it!

  2. The Sexual Deviant’s Dictionary…the name of your upcoming book 😉
    I love everything so far and I can’t believe how many great topics you bring up and discuss for each letter. As with most people here, I am very, very glad you brought up consent, and in full agreement that it is a MUST in the BDSM community, but almost not talked about in every day life. It’s a little bit frightening how “not no” has become “yes”. They are different!

    Love it – can’t wait for tomorrow.

    1. Haha that might be an idea for a book indeed, but I do not consider myself the expert. I just love to share the knowledge I have gained in the past year. Thanks for reading and enjoying it! xox

  3. A lovely view inside your thoughts on these different topics. Great choice of topics. No on the clamps, crops or canes lol…oh and control, that’s just me of course.
    I’m wishy washy on that one.
    And there must always be consent. 🙂

  4. Consent is more important than just about anything! Particularly with the world of BDSM, it’s so important to discuss things beforehand, instead of just going in there and doing something you might not fully understand or like very much.

  5. Beautiful post again Marie. Amazed by the number of topics, per letter, that your write about.


  6. What a great post again! Informative indeed and loads to agree with. Thank you!

  7. Oh Rebel, this alphabet is going to make a great book!

    I agree with you–I imagine a whole lot of (most?) non-kink folks have a real deficit in the areas of consent and communication.

    Can’t wait to read more! xM

  8. I’m really glad you talked about consent today. I think a lot of people who believe dom/sub relationships are abusive miss this point. If someone hits you with a cane without your consent, it’s abuse. If someone does it with your consent, its not. To me it’s that simple. I agree with your point too about bdsm relationships having much more emphasis on consent and where to draw the line than non-bdsm ones

    1. I think by their very nature, clearly stated consent seems more vital to any variation of sub/Dom relationship, control is given, not taken.

      I remember seeing this cartoon, comparing consent to sex, to consent to a cup of tea, it showed me how important consent is too all relationships, being honest and clear is always the right call, thankyou for highlighting it

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