Let’s Talk About Sex

Of course this blog is all about sex and talking about it, but with this week’s question for Food for Thought Friday, I am focusing on one specific part of talking about sex. The question is:

Are you comfortable discussing sex with your partner? Do you have the confidence to ask for what you like/want?

The answer to both questions is: sometimes.

Mostly I am comfortable to discuss anything with Master T and I have the confidence to ask for what I want, but when it comes to sex, it’s a bit different. I have difficulty to talk about sex, about my wants and my needs, but not because I don’t feel comfortable to talk to Master T about it. No, there is something of a block inside me, that prevents me from just talking about it or asking for something I would like or want.

In the past it happened that we had play dates and that he had to pull the words from me that I enjoyed it because I get horny when I am used by others. It’s not something I can admit without a giggle, as it makes me feel nervous to admit my own needs and wants. I have no idea where this comes from. I know Master T will never laugh at me or tell me I’m ridiculous for enjoying it. In fact, it excites him immensely that I enjoy it, and had it not for him pushing me to go for it, I would never have done it. And here I don’t mean that he pushed me to do something that he wanted. No, he noticed that I wanted it and since he liked the idea too, we explored. If we were not on one line about this, we would never have let anyone else into our relationship.

Still, even though I things are open between the two of us and I can discuss anything under the sun with my husband and he will always listen to my words in a sensible manner, I still have that block inside me, keeping me from asking for what I want, or discussing sex with him. Oh, we talk about sex, but mostly he’s the one initiation the conversation. I will hint at things, but if he doesn’t pick up the hint, there won’t be any conversation.

letstalkaboutsexI know, this is complicated. Yes, I have the confidence and yes, I feel comfortable, as long as I don’t have to start the conversation.

The only times I would sometimes start the conversation is when we are both at our work and we have contact via email. Then I will ask for what I want, or discuss something I want to discuss. The distance between us makes me feel safe and I know it gives Master T time to think (as well as me). I have no reason to feel like this, because he has never made me feel unsafe. In fact, I know that if I was able to discuss absolutely everything face to face with him, it will be perfectly okay. It’s my short-coming not to be able to do so, and not his.

Another way of communicating with Master T is through this blog… so, let’s talk about sex, baby!

© Rebel’s Notes

Food for Thought Friday

One thought on “Let’s Talk About Sex

  1. I get it, there’s a slight subby reluctance to admit to what we want incase it’s adding to their burden or seeming needy, whereas talking about general sex, generic sexy stuff, it’s easier, because there’s no hint at obligation… but maybe by voicing the desire, it becomes ‘real’ and possible, rather than fantasy and safely stashed in our heads… or at least that’s where I am at mostly.
    humbly twigs.

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