Have you ever cheated? If so, what were the reasons behind it, and how did you feel afterwards?
Those of you who have followed this blog longer, you will know that I have been married before. I cheated in my previous marriage. As coincidence would have it, I had this story in my list of ‘things to write’ for quite some time now, and I guess this is the time to tell it.
I wasn’t happy in my previous marriage, but since it was already my second, I was not prepared to have yet another divorce. I decided to stick it out. To make life interesting for myself and to fill the voids I have in my sex life, I started posting naked images of myself online, as well as joining chat rooms. A cousin of mine down south told me about the chat room she was in. Now, I am talking about fifteen/sixteen years ago here, when MSN Messenger and online chat rooms were still a big thing. I joined the same chat room as my cousin and started getting to know the people there. Oh, there was a lot of sexy talk and it happened to click enormously between me and one of the men there. He lived in the same town as my cousin and here I was, ten thousand kilometers to the north, lusting after a guy who made me feel everything my husband didn’t.
I got the opportunity to visit down south. Chatters meeting were a big thing back then, the same way you have tweet-ups or munches nowadays. When they heard I would be visiting, my cousin arranged a chatters meeting for when I was down there. That was the night when I met him: Firestarter. Oh, he was a fire starter for sure. The moment I saw him that night, I fell for him. Hard! I was there only for one week. The night of the meeting nothing happened, except for some sexy dancing and lots of touching. We were drawn to each other, that was obvious. A week later, two days before I would fly back home, I spent a night in a hotel with him. I sucked him. He fucked me. Even though there were fireworks, there were no feelings at all. We didn’t promise each other any ‘forever afters’. We just enjoyed what we both knew we wanted to do: fuck each other.
When I returned to my cousin’s place the next day all had broken loose. My husband had called the night before and demanded to speak to me. My cousin told him I was out. He said that he just knew I was cheating on him. She told him not to be silly. Then he called my mom, and told her that he was sure I’m fucking around. My mom called my cousin and once again my cousin lied for me.
I never confessed my cheating to my husband of back then. When I returned home I found out that he had not only called my mom, but also told my children that I am a cheating bitch. Even though he was right about the cheating, I was furious that he involved my kids and badmouthed me in front of them. I refused to talk about what happened why I was away and told him that whatever he wanted to believe, I was okay with it. In a way, that was a confession, without really confirming his suspicions.
At first, I felt bad about the cheating, but then I started to analyze it. I was aware that it wasn’t a good thing what I did, but I saw that it was an symptom of my bad marriage. I have always been faithful when I was with someone, only not with him. The fact that our marriage ended a year an a half later says enough, I think.
Have I ever cheated on Master T? No. Will I ever cheat on Master T? No. I have no reason at all to cheat. I am happy whether it’s only the two of us or whether we involve others in our relationship. He is the one who makes me happy and who I want to be with. Always.
© Rebel’s Notes