Begging is not a particular feature of our D/s dynamic, but there are those moments when Master T makes me beg. Either I have to beg Him to touch me, or I have to beg Him for an orgasm. The latter is obvious, I think. I always have to ask permission to have an orgasm. That is not begging. Begging comes in when he refuses me an orgasm. The begging takes on different forms.
“How much do you want this orgasm?” He would ask.
“I really want it,” I would answer.
“Yes, please Mijnheer, I really want it.”
Other times He would ask me to tell Him how much I want it. Those are the times I find the most difficult, as those are the times I find it really difficult to tell Him why I want an orgasm and how much I want it. I’ve gotten used to asking for an orgasm, but not to beg fir one.
The other kind of begging He makes me do is when I really need to feel His touch on me. Not knowing how else to say it, I will say something silly like: “do you want to touch my nipples?”
I never know how He will respond, or rather, I know. He responds in one of three ways – either touching my nipples, which mostly ends in a pinch or just saying no. The third way is to make me beg for it. To make me ask Him again and again, until finally He either says no, or He moves His hand to my breasts and pinches. Many times pinching each of my nipples only once leaves me deeply satisfied.
When I have to beg, I never know what the outcome will be. Sometimes I beg with my eyes. Master T knows me very well, sometimes better than I know myself, and He sees the need and the questions in my eyes. The same as when I verbally beg, He determines the outcome. I might not always be happy with the outcome, but it leaves me satisfied even if I am not happy. Why? Because He’s the one that decides whether something will happen and that’s the way I want it.
Of course with this kink and the questions being there, I wanted to have Master T’s opinion too. What does He get from seeing or hearing me beg? The questions posted in the introduction post for the subject begging were:
Do you love it when they beg? Kneeling at your feet pleading with you, big eyes looking up into yours, that need in their tone as they appeal to you. Are they begging you stop or begging you for more, does it even matter, is just the begging enough regardless of the when or why?
Master T answered that at appropriate times He can appreciate it when I beg, whether I’m begging for more or for less. What the reason is for my begging, doesn’t matter. At times He just likes me to beg. But, He warned: if begging would be a daily ritual it would count as ‘whining’ and that is something He absolutely doesn’t want.
Clear language… and His words reminded me of two things: I am not always begging because I want something, but sometimes I am also begging because I want something to stop.
I’m not always on my knees when I beg. Sometimes I lie in bed next to Him or I am standing in front of Him and looking up in His face, often times in public. And sometimes He makes me kneel in front of Him while He sits in His recliner. Being on my knees, whether just sitting with Him or begging for something, is my favorite position. And an even bigger favorite is being on my knees and elbows, my face down, like in the photo. Unfortunately since my fall last year, and since my foot is still not fully healed, it’s a bit difficult for me to be on my knees, otherwise the bracelets position would have been my preferred position to be in when I beg Master T for whatever I want or whatever He wants me to beg for.
Like I said in the beginning, begging is not a particular part of our D/s dynamic, but I (and it seems Master T too) like those moments when the begging reminds me of my place and the power He holds over me.
© Rebel’s Notes