I am subscribed on the daily prompts of the Submissive Guide and have written a couple of posts for this blog when a prompt interested me, such as the one on being a masochist. This is another prompt that caught my attention:

“Dominance has nothing to do with ropes, cuffs, or floggers… It has everything to do with trust and strength.” – Unknown

We have rope and cuffs and floggers in our relationship, but those things are not needed for Master T to express His dominance. He needs nothing to be dominant, because being dominant is not a role He plays, but it’s part of His nature. Just like I am a natural submissive, He is a natural Dominant. It’s in His way of doing, in His eyes, in the way He speaks.

Whether it should be called ‘trust and strength’ like in the quote, I do not know, but I know I wouldn’t have been able to submit to Master T if I haven’t trusted His judgment and trusted that He will keep me safe. He has an inner strength in Him that radiates something that had me trusting Him from the first moment we met each other.

This subject of dominance automatically makes me think of what someone at Eroticon 2012 said when they met Master T. It was something like: ‘I thought he was a lot bigger’. I think many of us make the mistake to think that a dominant male should be a big and strong man, someone with broad shoulders and strong arms who can pin you down with one hand when you are being a brat. Believe me, even though Master T is not like this, I also had this image of dominant males in my mind. Except for one, not one of the dominant males I have met have bodies like described.

Master T is a slender man and definitely not big and strong. Yes, He is taller than I am, by about 20 centimeters and yes, His arms are stronger than mine. But I’m never such a brat that He has to pin me down. No, that is not entirely true. Sometimes I am a brat and then He does pin me down. But, not with His arms. He uses words. His words are much stronger than any pair of arms will ever be. Words work better with me. Yes, I like a good struggle just as much as many women I know, but in the end Master T’s words mean a lot more to me than any struggle ever would.

Like I said, Master T is what I call a natural dominant male. When we are in a session I feel His dominance. I feel His control. And even when not in session, I feel His control. It’s there always, because we have a 24/7 mindset and don’t switch the D/s off when we are not in a session. It’s our way of life. He’s dominant, I’m submissive. And we are it all the time, even if He doesn’t handle a flogger for weeks or I don’t feel cuffs around my wrists. It’s part of who we are.

20150204wm polaroids past 2004-05

Long before we made the commitment of a D/s relationship, we were into BDSM but never called it that. We were just ‘playing around’ with cuffs and chains and restraints and clamps. This photo dates back to the time when I still had my own house and only visited Master T on weekends. We had a long distance relationship, living 40 kilometers from each other and seeing each other only in the weekends. Back then we slept on the attic on two very old beds, until we bought a new bed for ourselves, which we slept on for a couple of years before we bought yet another one. On the photo the chain is clipped to a hook in one of the beams on the attic. Thinking of this, I can’t wait for the day we don’t have any kids living at home anymore and are able to use the attic the way we want to – as ‘play room’.

© Rebel’s Notes

Wicked Wednesday


10 thoughts on “Dominance

  1. That’s so cool that y’all have taken so many photos over the years! I like the Polaroid look you’ve given them for Modesty’s project. 🙂

  2. The trust bit is so true. I was trying to explain this to my husband the other day; we’ve just started BDSM play. Although it’s been a lifelong interest of mine, I’ve never shared it with any previous partner, and in fact, it was several years into our marriage before I let my hubby in on it. I’m a natural submissive and my ex-boyfriend had what might be confused as a dominant personality, but was really just a sadistic ass and there was no sex involved. Worlds apart. Trust and intimacy constitute the true heart of play, I think.

  3. I love the physical struggle. And my husband is the opposite – he’s not naturally dominant nor am I submissive, yet he is broad shoulder, tall, intimidating to a lot of people (until they get to know him).

    But the quote, and your words are so true, you don’t need rope or to be physically forced to submit for the power play, that it is often nothing like that (maybe a side bonus for some of us).
    I like how you take that line and deconstruct it with a personal reflection.

  4. This taps into so much of what I have been thinking and writing about recently – more specifically, the brain as one of the most important D/s tools. Some of the most powerful sessions I have with M involve just words. I must confess, I do love to be overpowered by him (and he is A LOT bigger than me stature-wise – although I can out-run him! :-)) but if physical dominance was the sum total of our sexual relationship it would feel extraordinarily empty. I need far more than that. Jane xxx

    1. I totally agree with you, Jane. I cannot have only the physical side of it – it would ore me.

  5. i definitely agree with you, Master T has a quiet charisma and you are a lovely couple. i love these birs of your relationship that you share with us!

  6. I completely get this. SSir isn’t a huge man – and if you didn’t know him, you might not see his Dominance right off, but it’s definitely there. Sort of like I said last week, it’s a quiet leadership kind of thing.

    None of it happens without trust. Trust that they’ll keep us safe. Trust that they’ll respect our limits. So much trust. But it’s completely worth it. 🙂

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