Skeletons in my closet

What does that mean? Skeletons in the closet?

To say that someone has skeletons in their closet means that they have done something in the past that they don’t want other people knowing about. It does not necessarily mean that what they did was illegal or immoral, but it could. In general, it is something that would hurt their reputation. It refers to murdering someone and storing their dead body / skeletons in your closet. Saying “keep your skeletons in your closest” is a way of saying “I don’t want to hear about things you’ve done in the past that could hurt your reputation” .. or simply “keep your secrets to yourself”.
Source: Idiom Reference

We all have a past. We all have done things that we are proud of, but there are also things we are not so proud of. I am no different. There are some things I would rather not talk about, but it’s not because it will damage my reputation. It’s because it’s behind me. It part of the past. I have left it behind me.

If I look only at the sexual part of my past, I know that I have done things I should be ashamed of. I think about the fact that I slept with a major while I was his subordinate and he was married. Or the fact that I had a relationship with someone four years my junior. Not once, but twice. Two different men. Or the older man I had a relationship with. Or the married couple I was involved with. All of those things are potential skeletons in my closet, but they are not. Why not? Because I have talked about it. I have told Master T all about them. If others ask about things like that, I will probably tell them too. There is nothing to be ashamed of.


I am a sex blogger. I have been a sex blogger for almost 5 years now.

I run a group for erotic authors. I have done that for two years now.

Master T and I are involved in a BDSM relationship and we have been for almost 4 years now.

These three facts are potential skeletons in my closet. I could have kept all of those a secret, but after talking about it extensively, we have decided not to do so. I have told my family that I write about sex. That’s it. No more information, unless asked for. Some questions I answered, some I told them they they don’t need to have the information, such as my pseudonym. They also know that I run a writers group and that the people coming to the meetings, all write about sex too. I have not told them the name of my writer’s group. They don’t need to know that as it adds nothing to knowing I run and own a writer’s group. Me being a sex blogger and me running the writer’s group – those two things are not potential skeletons for my closet.

The only thing I haven’t told my family is the fact that we are involved in a BDSM relationship. That is one thing they don’t need to know. They know we love each other. They see us hug and kiss. They see us interact with each other. Sometimes there’s dominance and submission openly when everyone is present, but only people really knowing about our D/s relationship will recognize it. Does this mean that our D/s relationship can be a possible skeleton in my closet? No! I am not ashamed of our relationship and if anyone ever suspects something and asks about it, I will answer honestly. I am not keeping quiet about it because no one may know about it. I am keeping quiet because I don’t want to ‘burden’ people with information they don’t care to have. Questions will be answered honestly. Information will not be volunteered.

I don’t say I don’t have any skeletons in my closet. I just know that whatever is there, is not even important enough for me to remember. And if something or someone triggers me to remember it, I will probably just talk about it. There are some things that I have done that I keep from some people. Not because I am ashamed of what have happened, but I keep it from certain individuals because I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I think I have said it before, but I will say it again: there are two people who know absolutely everything about me: my Husband and my best friend.

One thing that I have learned over the past five years: no one reacts as strongly to your skeletons as you do yourself.

© Rebel’s Notes

Wicked Wednesday

5 thoughts on “Skeletons in my closet

  1. I don’t hide that I have the blog and write about sex. I don’t hide that I post intimate pictures. I don’t tell everyone I am Stella Kiink though. I have shared some sexy stories that I have written but I never tell my co-workers or family where to find me or my blog online. They don’t need to see my naked bits or me with a man’s cock in my mouth. If it came out though I wouldn’t really mind. It isn’t something I am ashamed of.


    1. Exactly the way I do it and in the end I think I will be okay if someone discovers just what my pseudonym is. In the end it doesn’t change who I really am.

      Rebel xox

  2. I never thought of it in the way in which you stated in your last sentence. You’re right! It’s self that reacts strongly to it’s own skeleton. That shameful or embarrassing past event or anything in our life that could damage our present life. We are always harder on ourselves than other people. Once we release that skeleton no longer has power over us. Like you telling your family about your being a sex blogger, etc. There is that “release” of worry that “OMG someone in my family might find out.”
    This was a really good prompt! 🙂

  3. Yes, well said Marie . . . and I think that very often talking with someone about those things in our past can be a huge release . . . and relief!
    Xxx – K

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