Silence is golden (10/10)

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You are in a D/s relationship with your life partner with whom you live in one house and… you have kids. You do not want to tell the kids (yet) about the nature of your relationship. Maybe you never want to tell them. You want to keep your relationship low profile, but, you cannot go without being dominated or dominating for too long. Most of the things you like and want to do make a noise and you know that will evoke questions from the kids. You can go to a hotel without the kids, but this is something most people cannot do every month. So how do you solve it? How do you practice ‘silent BDSM’?

This is something I asked myself some time ago… and these posts were born.

Continued from… Silence is golden (9/10)

Tell your sub to undress in unusual places. For instance, when you have given her a masturbation task and she has to do it during working hours, tell her to be naked when she masturbates. Or, have her undress in the car next to you when you’re on a long trip and let her sit naked for as long as you desire. You can also tell her to take off specific items, like telling her in a restaurant to go take off her panties and hand them to you when she returns.

Vampire gloves
I love the vampire gloves. They are absolutely great for sensation play, and for spankings. The vampire gloves are not really meant to be used for spankings but we love doing it. It looks very impressive, as the tiny holes in the skin makes it look very dramatic with all the blood, but it leaves very little damage. But, spanking with the vampire gloves makes a noise and this is exactly what we want to avoid, right? So, use the gloves by softly running your hand over the subs body, over and over. Scratch her skin, make it red, make her squirm. You don’t have to make a noise with the gloves to mark her.

Wartenberg pinwheel
Roll the Wartenberg pinwheel slowly over sensitive parts of the body, such as the inner thighs, the breasts or softly over the outer labia. The sub is bound to squirm and moan as the sharp points of the wheel touches her skin. Intensify this by using the Wartenberg pinwheel with 3 or 7 wheels. We have the one with 7 wheels as well as the one with one, but the one with 7 is much more intense.

Wax play
Warm/Hot wax is another form of sensation play. Make sure that you use proper candles for this, preferably those made for BDSM play. Some candle wax get too hot and can really leave burn marks on the body. The higher you hold a candle when dripping hot wax on her body, the cooler the wax will feel. However it will never be cold before it touches the skin. Drip wax on nipples or labia to get her squirming. After covering her in wax, use a knife (mindfuck!) to scrape the wax off her body.
Tip: use an old sheet to cover the surface the sub lies on, so you can catch all pieces of wax in it. It saves you cleaning up one helluva mess.

This concludes my list of things that one can do when you do not want to or cannot make a lot of sound at home, but you still want to engage in BDSM play. I use ‘play’ but to me it’s definitely not play, but a way to live, something I need. I need to feel His dominance and all the things above help me to feel that, and to make little sound while we’re at it.

Of course, another route to go is to explain to your kids that what happens in the bedroom is none of their business, but that everything that happens there is consensual and loving, no matter what sounds they hear. Granted, if I scream with pain, they might be freaked out, but then again, a gag might help with this. I am just not ready yet to talk to my kids about it, or rather, when the questions were asked, I was not ready. I guess when they are asked again, we might sit them down and tell them that we do things they do not necessarily have to know about, but that we deeply love each other and everything is consensual. And up to the time that we do have this conversation, we can engage in ‘silent BDSM’.

© Rebel’s Notes

Wicked Wednesday

8 thoughts on “Silence is golden (10/10)

  1. I like the way you shared the topic of silence with your lifestyle and including the kids. Now that the kids have all moved out of the house. It’s like we are newlyweds again. BUT…I remember all too well when the kids were all home & even with their sleepovers. Sometimes there would be 6 kids in our house. We always tried to be quiet. For a long time, I stopped making noise. I would just collapse afterwards or bite him. Looking back I think we were more in tune with each other at times. Because we could make a lot of noise or talk loud.

    Great suggestions, for quiet “play.”

    We had mixed views on what to tell the kids about sex. Hubby told me “you told them too much.” However, I think it’s a good thing when kids can come to one or both parents with a question or concern.

    1. I totally agree, kids should be able to come to parents with questions. And the one kid can handle more information than the other. We have decided to only answer questions when they are asked, and not to volunteer any information to the children about our kinky sides. That way you don’t burden them with information they did not want.

  2. You missed bondage, especially rope. Chains can be a bit rattly. That tight constrained feeling really taps into my sub side.

    Also knife play is silent, as long as you can stay quiet that is…. for the combination of the cold steel on warm skin and the obvious ‘dangerous’ connotations of the knife itself is seriously hot and it is the perfect kink companion to wax play.

    I am sure there are more but this is the 1st two that sprang to mind


    1. Bondage was in there, but under the heading ropes, not bondage. And knife play was there too. Both these subjects were in earlier posts of this series 🙂
      Like you, I love knives and we should do it far more than we are doing it. And wax, mmmm wax…

      Rebel xox

  3. This has been a fabulous series of posts and will give lots of ideas to those in a situation where couples (and more ;-)) need to be quiet!

    ~Mia~ xx

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