Silence is golden (6/10)

BDSM logoScenario:
You are in a D/s relationship with your life partner with whom you live in one house and… you have kids. You do not want to tell the kids (yet) about the nature of your relationship. Maybe you never want to tell them. You want to keep your relationship low profile, but, you cannot go without being dominated or dominating for too long. Most of the things you like and want to do make a noise and you know that will evoke questions from the kids. You can go to a hotel without the kids, but this is something most people cannot do every month. So how do you solve it? How do you practice ‘silent BDSM’?

This is something I asked myself some time ago… and these posts were born.

Continued from… Silence is golden (5/10)

Let her make lists. List of anything you can imagine. For instance:

  • her qualities as a sub;
  • things she has done wrong in a week;
  • her sex bucket list;
  • things she likes about herself;
  • her soft/hard limits;
  • her favorite foods;
  • places she wants to go to;
  • her favorite food;
  • her favorite sex toys.

The possibilities are endless and of course, don’t only let her make the lists, but do something with the information she gives you.

Ever since Master T and I started our relationship, mails have played a very important part in our lives. Our mails sometimes look like a chat session, with one-liners flying to and fro. These mails are not always about every day things, but sometimes have a sexual undertone and sometimes they are just pure sex… and dominance. We don’t only email each other when we are both at work, but sometimes even when we both sit in our living room, just 5 meters apart. Use mails to communicate, to give tasks, to play with someone’s mind, to excite them.

I have just mentioned mails, and mails are a good way to initiate and maintain a mindfuck. But, whispered words can be the start of a great mindfuck too. A mindfuck fall under the heading of ‘mental BDSM’ and is when a state of confusion or psychological conflict is intentionally created. Mindfucking is an exploration, where the Dominant guides a sub into her own doubts, fears and weaknesses. It’s a process which leaves a sub incredibly vulnerable and it’s important that the sub should have complete trust in the Dominant and the Dominant should know her very well and should definitely know what he is doing. Mindfucking is a way to rape the mind, and can be harmful if not done with caution, but, when done the way it should, when complete trust is there, when the Dominant really knows the sub and knows how to challenge her – then a mindfuck is a beautiful thing!

Some examples of mindfucks:

  • Laying out things to use during play and including a very sharp knife. Then restraining and blindfolding the sub and using the back of the knife to go over her skin and making her think she is being cut for real.
  • Having a sub kidnapped by friends (unknown to her) and taking her to a place where the Dominant is waiting. Proceeding to do ‘evil’ things to the blindfolded sub while she thinks the strangers are doing it.
  • Telling a sub she will be fucked by several men once they reach the hotel room, blindfolding her before you enter the room and touching her with several pauses in between, making her believe it’s different hands touching her in different places, when in fact it’s only you and her, or maybe you and one other person.

I’m sure you can add more examples of mindfucks!

Misery stick
A misery stick is made of thin carbon fiber and looks incredibly innocent, until someone holds onto the handle, pull back the thin rod and let go. It’s got a sting that will last for minutes after it has touched the skin and it can even break the skin without too much effort. The misery stick makes almost no sound at all when it hits the skin, but it has a great effect, especially for the sub that’s into pain.

You can buy the misery stick from Molly of Molly’s Daily Kiss.

To be continued… Silence is golden (7/10)

© Rebel’s Notes

4 thoughts on “Silence is golden (6/10)

  1. Mia: A friend of mine doesn’t call them misery sticks but I think he crafts exactly what you are looking for, pretty ones with handle made of beads. There are some pictures in his FB profile gallery, just look for Janek Hodnosti Vranika 🙂

    Marie: wide grin at one-liner e-mails and mindfuck 🙂


  2. I want a misery stick but unfortunately it looks like Molly has sold out of them 🙁

    Do you know anywhere else in the UK or Europe where you can buy them. Import duty in the UK if I order from the US is crackers!

    ~Mia~ xx

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