In the past I have frequently mentioned that we are restricted at home when it comes to practicing BDSM. No, it is not that nothing at all happens at home, but we cannot engage in some of our favorite actions, such as impact play. The reason for this is that there’s always at least one kid in the house and in the evenings when they are in their rooms, we cannot engage in any impact play either as they can both hear it. We’ve even had some questions in the past regarding ‘slappy sounds’, so we are quite careful with it nowadays. We are not ready yet to tell them about the nature of our relationship, and we might never be ready.
Not being able to engage in impact play had me in utter frustration many times in the past. I love when we go to play dates, love interacting with other people, but in the end the most important thing for me is Master T’s control. I want to feel His control every day – need to feel it – and even though I have a set of rules to follow every day, that is just not enough. Master T has this saying: don’t think in problems, think in solutions. It took me quite some time to get my focus, but when at last I did I decided to concentrate on solutions for our problem. I also realized that we are not the only ones with this problem. There are many other couples out there who have exactly the same problem.
Our situation is ‘under control’ but by summarizing the solutions we found, I might just be able to help others too.
- Not being able to engage in impact play at home, because it’s too noisy.
- Not able and not wanting to go without feeling dominance for too long. A need to feel control.
- Daily/Weekly standing orders are not enough. There’s a need for more – a need to feel physical AND mental control.
- Needing pain.
- Needing focus.
- A need to belong, to submit.
I have come up with quite a number of solutions, which I want to list here and in following posts. I write these posts from the point of view of a sub who cannot get enough, but who knows that there are limitations to every situation. Where some of the solutions might sound very obvious, I felt that they should be mentioned. It is my experience that when I lose my focus, I totally lose all focus and cannot think of anything. Not even the simplest things! So maybe this post will help me to focus in future, and of course, if anyone has something to add, please feel free to do so in the comments section, but remember, there are more posts to follow.
Just another quick note: when I refer to subs I will use the female form, but of course this doesn’t mean that these things should only be used for female subs. They are just as suitable for male subs!
Another note: Always take all safety precautions into account!
Not everyone is into anal play, but everyone who is a frequent reader know that I am very much into it. Feeling His finger(s) entering me anally always turns me on and gives me the most wonderful orgasms if combined with clitoral play. But, I think the main thing is that I know that absolutely every little part of my body belongs to Him, even my darkest spot. It’s all His to do with whatever He wants. I feel especially vulnerable and at His mercy when He tells me to lie on my stomach and push up on my knees, so my ass is up in the air. I feel exposed, obedient, submissive. Before your engage in anal play with a partner, talk about it and then talk about it some more. Some people really hate being touched there and it definitely is something not to force. But, it can be trained. Butt plugs are a form of anal play and might be something to get her used to having something in her ass, before you push your finger in there.
There are so many places on the body that can be bitten and you can choose whether you want to bite soft or hard, whether you want to only tease or whether you want to leave marks and tender spots. Bite her bottom hard, so she can feel it when she wants to sit the next day and be reminded what you have done to her.
One word of caution: the human mouth has a lot of bacteria in it, so when you break the skin during biting, make sure you clean the wound thoroughly afterward to prevent infection.
A blindfold can be used in combination with a lot of things in the rest of these posts. Depriving someone of sight heightens the senses, which means anything you do will be exactly what the blindfolded person will concentrate on. For instance, blindfold a sub while in the privacy of your bedroom and slowly run your hand up and down her arms, her legs, her body. Let her feel the sensation, concentrate on them. Or finger her while she’s blindfolded. But, a sub can also be blindfolded and told to go to sleep, or to sit very still, whether in front of the television or in a corner of the room. This might bring jumpy subs back their calm.
To be continued… Silence is golden (2/10)
© Rebel’s Notes