Just like with the first post about a task master, this post has also been read and approved by Master T before it was posted here.
Some time ago I have blogged about a conversation between Master T and me and where He told me that I should see whether I could find a task master. In my post I asked people to send mails to Master T to ‘apply’ to be my task master.
On the same day that the post appeared on my blog, Master T received two emails. He didn’t tell me from who. Only that one was a total stranger and that I know the other one. This in itself was a mini mind fuck. I did not know what I preferred – someone I know or someone I don’t. In fact, suddenly I did not know whether I still wanted a task master. I knew Master T would always keep an eye on things, but I know He is strict and He wants me to be challenged. He wants me to explore my boundaries. I knew a task master would probably have to run all ideas for tasks by Him as He is the one who knows my hard limits, but still, the idea of a task master suddenly scared me.
Once I knew about the two emails I started rambling. I started telling Master T what I wanted and what not and how I think I would react to a task from someone I know or how I would react to task from someone I don’t know. Also that I hope that whoever becomes my task master would take my hard limits into account or I might have to use my safe word, but then again I would like to be challenged but I would also like to know who is challenging me… I hardly breathed as I rambled. Master T just looked at me and smiled and then at last He stopped my waterfall of words.
“You are not in the position to make decisions,” He said.
I was quiet. Indeed. I was not in the position to decide. Decisions are made by Him, not by me. It took me a while before I started rambling again, this time about how in this case of a possible task master I find it difficult to let go of control. That somehow I wanted to control who Master T appoints as my task master. He stopped me again and I knew I was on the brink of a punishment. I kept quiet after that.
Then there was the possibility that I would not get a task master, but a task mistress. There was a time when I spoke to a friend about being dominated by a woman and I thought I would not be able to take a woman serious. I thought I would not want a woman to dominate me. But here, with the possibility of a woman giving me tasks, I was intrigued. How would it be to execute tasks set to me by a woman? Would tasks given to me by a woman be easier or more difficult than those set to me by a man? Actually, I wanted to find out and I secretly started hoping that Master T would receive an email from a woman who would want to be my task mistress.
Alas, Master T only received the two emails. Just over a week after my post appeared on my blog, Master T decided that the experiment has failed. He told me that He had written the two men to inform them that He was no longer looking for a task master for me. I was told that those emails were written but I was not told who the two ‘applicants’ were.
However, Master T is willing to accept suggestions for tasks for me, whether they come from a man or a woman. So, if you have a suggestion for a task, you can send an email to Him: thegrandmastert (at) gmail (dot) com and if He approves of the task, He will inform me about it and after executing the task, I will (have to) blog about it.
© Rebel’s Notes