Funishment… A nice way of being punished, usually in a sexual way. That were more or less the words that were used on the Urban Dictionary. I read through the introductory post on Kink of the week and as I read on, one thought stuck in my head: we do not do funishment.
This of course did not stop me from doing a bit of research, to see whether my opinion would change.
First of all I asked Master T: When you flog or whip me, do you see it as funishment or something else.
His answer: It’s not funishment or punishment. I flog or whip you because I want to hurt you.
On the site of Lotuslust I found this:
Most of us who are in this lifestyle know that when there is a punishment that both the giver and receiver enjoy, it is actually not a punishment at all. An example of this is top loving to give her bottom a flogging. The bottom loving and anticipating the flogging. So, this is where the word funishment is coined.
Okay, if I look at this then I can argue that when Master T whips or flogs me, it is funishment. Both of us enjoy it. He enjoys hurting me and I enjoy receiving, although at the moment of receiving I am not always enjoying it. Still, neither of us see a flogging or a whipping as funishment. It’s something I need. Something I cannot be without. If I haven’t been flogged or whipped for some time, I get jumpy and when I get too jumpy, I am punished. Not funished, but punished. Master T does not tolerate any inappropriate behavior. It’s not like he doesn’t understand my jumpiness. I am allowed to tell Him about it. I am allowed to feel restless, but I am not allowed to act silly because I am feeling jumpy or needy.
Jade’s post stated:
But what about punishment games – “play” punishment, or, as it is sometimes called, “funishment”? A funishment scene is one that – although it oftentimes looks like real discipline or chastisement – is not intended to correct behavior or actually punish bad behavior. The discipline may be meted out for infractions, but more for fun, for sexual arousal, and for play (even though they may be painful or emotionally charged.)
I guess this means that the scenes Master T and I engage in, where He whips or spanks me because He wants to hurt me and where I receive the pain without objecting can be seen as funishment. Yes, in the end we are doing it for our mutual fun. Even if He hurts me, even if I should cry because it hurts, even then it’s still something we share and something we both enjoy. And something you enjoy can be described as fun, right?
I still have a problem with the word ‘fun’. Yes, we both enjoy when we engage in impact play (or nipple torture or knife play or anything that causes me some extent of pain) but neither of us would ever use the word ‘fun’ for it as it sounds so light-hearted. And neither of us thiink about our relationship in a light-hearted way, no matter how much we enjoy whatever kind of play we engage in.
I think I will stick with what I have said: I need His strictness, I need the pain He inflicts on me and He needs to hurt me, to make me feel His control. And no matter how much we enjoy it, we will probably never refer to it as ‘funishment’.
© Rebel’s Notes