I have been on Twitter for almost three years now, and in those three years I have learned a lot about the different kinds of relationships out there.
Closer to home… our own relationship has changed a lot in the last three years. We are still the same married couple that we have been for the last 8 years and we are still as in love as we were when we met 11.5 years ago. We still have fun together, finish each other’s sentences, have the same ideas independent from each other and are still as happy as the day we decided to enter a formal relationship. Our marriage is our primary priority and we will not allow anything (or anyone) to damage it in any way.
Our D/s relationship is very important to us, but it will always be secondary to our marriage. It has, however, brought us even closer together. We are discovering new things, new boundaries. We are learning more about ourselves and about each other. We enjoy doing things together and enjoy to see the other enjoying. We do things our way, and not according to any book or set of rules that might exist out there. This is our life. We are happy. Life is good.
Recently we had a conversation about how we have more or less opened up our marriage. Oh I know, we have not opened it up in the way that other couples have. Our relationship is opened up within the confines of our D/s relationship.
As said in my introductory paragraph, we have learned a lot about different relationships. We respect each and every relationship out there and respect that each couple has their own way of doing things. This post is definitely not about judging anyone out there, but just that I find it interesting to know (and think) about the different relationships I know about and to compare it to ours.
There was this D/s couple where both the man and the woman had sex with women who joined them. However, when we met them, it became clear that they both wanted me to join, but they preferred Master T not to be part of the fun. They did not even want Him in the room. They never said it in so many words, but it was clear that only I was welcome. Of course, that did not fit in with Master T’s ‘rules’ at all. However, we understood that even if it did not fit in wit the way we do things, they were happy with their life the way it was. We respectfully stepped away.
Another relationship I know of is where the husband and wife are more like brother and sister to each other. They are soul mates, and deeply love each other, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like the love between them is gone at all. They both are polyamorous/polygamous and have other partners, sometimes even two each. And they are very happy with their lives this way. Looking at our relationship, I cannot imagine having a relationship with someone else and not having Master T involved in the same relationship.
These are only two examples of relationships out there that I find interesting. I know of several relationships where the women have totally lost all interest in sex (mostly after they had kids) and the men would love to have more. Some of those men have settled into accepting their ‘fate’ and seek their pleasure in flirting online. Others have sex with other women, obviously without the knowledge of their wives. And sometimes these relationships end in divorce. But you also have the situations where men only say that things are not right at home, that their wives have a low libido and that is only an excuse to get women to feel sorry for them and have sex with them. But then there are also the relationships where the men get their wives into a relationship -be it a BDSM relationship or not – and tell their wives that they are both allowed to have sex with women. The only reason they do this is because they legally want to fuck another woman, so they more or less ‘force’ their wives to be bisexual. And seriously, these relationships exist. I have been in one.
Oh, the different relationships. Just think of the different ways people set up their D/s or M/s or any other kind of BDSM relationship. With ours, we are always together, no matter who joins us. Anyone is allowed to fuck me, but Master T is always around, whether watching or taking part. In other relationships the woman has a free reign to do whatever she wants with women, but is not allowed to have sexy contact with men. Yet other relationships are more open and the women are expected to have relationships outside of the D/s relationships, but always adhering to the rules set to them by their dominant male partners. Sometimes the male dominants have relationship with other women too, but then it can be classified more like a poly relationship, right? Yes, sometimes I get confused. Sometimes there’s a relationship inside a relationship, more or less like Master T and I have a D/s relationship inside our marriage.
But sometimes, as an outsider, it looks like there is a relationship inside a relationship inside another relationship. Do you still follow? Then there’s a D/s relationship inside the marriage (or other kind of relationship) and an open/poly relationship inside the D/s. And that sometimes boggles my mind. So many people say that a sub is the one who decides what they want, what will happen, etc. but I still believe it’s the Dom who has all control because the sub gives him the control. But if a sub is in an open relationship, where she can have other sex partners without the Dom present, how can the Dom still control her? It seems strange to me, I cannot bring the two together. But it also seems strange to me that a wife would allow her husband to expect of her to be bisexual, to have sexual relationships with women and for him to be allowed to fuck those women too.
This post is only about my thoughts about relationships, because I find the diversity so incredibly intriguing. This post is not about judging anyone, so please, do not read it that way! I am just intrigued, that’s all…
© Rebel’s Notes
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