The cane slashed across my ass. I whimpered. Another painful lash.
“Ouch,” I moaned impulsively, “ouch.”
“Ouch?” Master R said. “Ouch?”
“You surely mean ‘ouch, thank you’? He asked.
“Yes, ouch thank you,” I said.
The attention turned to one of the two other women. I could not see who as I was blindfolded. I thought about saying thank you and I thought about the last time where I had the feeling that Master R wanted me to call Him Master. I also thought about Master T who had said that during the next play date I would call both Him and Master R ‘Master’. Why oh why could I not get it out of my mouth? I heard the word in my head. I spoke it in my mind. I just could not get it pass my lips. Why not?
I heard the Masters behind me again. Whether it was the cane or a whip or both that touched my bottom, I cannot remember. It took a couple of lashes before I started moaning again. A particular hard lash turned me vocal again.
“Ouch!” I moaned.
“What did I say? Ouch, thank you, right?” Master R said and the painful lashes kissed my ass again.
“Ouch, thank you,” I echoed.
‘Ouch, thank you, Master’ is what I wanted everyone to hear, but I was the only one who could hear it as the word got stuck inside me. I wanted to, but I could not say it. I just could not.
On our way back home I thought about this. Why can’t I just say Master when I address Master R? Is it because I do not have a formal way of addressing Master T? Is it maybe because of my upbringing, where we were taught to show adults respect, but we never addressed them in a really formal way? Or might it be an entirely different reason? Is it because I feel silly about it? Or feel that other people will think I am being ridiculous? What is holding me back?
No matter what the reason, when we got home I decided to discuss it with Master T. I told Him that I understand that He does not feel comfortable with me addressing Him as Master or Sir. I asked Him whether He would reconsider it. That maybe since He calls Himself Master on Twitter and I write of Him as Master T, it might just be something He and I both have to get used to when I call Him Master during play sessions. And that maybe, once I am used to calling Him Master, it would be easier to call Master R the same. Master T said He would think about it and that we might have to enter a training period for it, for both of us to get used to it.
I would actually like to be able to call Him Master during play sessions or when I ask Him anything kink related. Like when I ask for permission to leave my charms off for a day, I would like to address Him as Master. Or when He orders me to do something and it’s kink related, I would want to say “yes, Master” or “thank you, Master”. I long to say that. Somehow I have the feeling it will enhance my submission.
Thinking of it now, Master T remarked on how I have called M ‘Sir’ during our date in the summer. That’s true. I did. He urged me to. I answered M on a question and he said “yes, what” and there was only one right answer to that “yes, Sir”. Also, when I chat with M and he says something like “good girl” or he gives me a task, I also type back “thank you, Sir”. In a way that goes natural, to type it. And when I am urged to say it, it goes easy enough too.
I think if Master T expects of me to call Him Master or Sir (He has to decide which) and He reminds me over and over again that I should call Him that when I address Him, it will eventually become natural and then it will also be easier to address Master R in the same way.
I really want to learn how to call both of them ‘Master’ and not feel silly about it. I hope Master T will train me to do this…
© Rebel’s Notes