A Dom Serves?

dominantRecently a good friend of mine placed a piece of text on her Tumblr  and it perked my interest. The text has been written by a Dom on Fetlife, but unfortunately I cannot reach his Fetlife profile anymore. Therefore, for now, I prefer not to mention his name here, but I still want to place the text and ask your opinions on this:

I can see this pissing a lot of people off. To all of them, kiss my ass.
This is also a drunken rant because I’m tired of hearing bullshit and explaining stupid things. So to those of you who read and see typos or other grammatical errors, I apologize.

Any asshole can yell. Anyone can tie someone up. Anyone can have rough sex and slap someone around or get rough. Being a Dom has nothing to do with that. Now granted, everyone is different and every relationship is as well. If all you do for someone is spank their ass, flog them, blindfold them and fuck their throats and you are both happy with that, great! More power to you.

But being a Dom means, at least to me, caring for someone subservient to me! YES I SAID CARING! Their minds, hearts, spirits and BODIES! Yes I even care about their body! A Dom should be just as much IN SERVICE to their subs as their subs are to them. If not more so! A Dom should lead, inspire and set the example. They should guide, motivate, teach and help their sub be more successful! And if you are failing in that area, SAY YOU ARE SORRY AND UNFUCK YOURSELF!!!!

Yes a Dom can say they are sorry and/ or wrong! We do fuck up too! I know, it seems to be blasphemy and unheard of, but it’s true. After all, if you can’t see when you make a mistake and fix yourself, then how can you fix or help someone else? If you claim to be a Dom then people should be in a better place after meeting you not just more bruised! Inside or out. I have literally had people on here ask me if I am really a Dom because i don’t demand they call me Sir upon first contact, or even ask why half of their message is Sir this and Master that. Those titles serve their purpose and have their place. But they should also be EARNED. Not because someone demands it or claims some bullshit title on the drop down box, but because someone DESERVES it!

So yes. I AM A DOM AND I AM HERE TO SERVE. Maybe not everyone. I will help anyone i can, but i am here to serve the sub that i am LUCKY enough to call mine….

I am looking forward to your opinions…

© Rebel’s Notes

29 thoughts on “A Dom Serves?

  1. Being the Dominant is a responsibility and one to be taken seriously.

    Care of the submissive is paramount and being able to admit when things go wrong makes the Dominant all the more credible and more importantly gives them more integrity with their submissive.

    I have personal experience of this when a Dominant that I was meeting, way back when I first started, marked me when we had agreed that I would not be marked, he immediately apologised and explained that he had been tired and should not have undertaken the flogging that he had and as a result I had suffered and he quite clearly showed that because I suffered something that I should not have that he did also and because of that I had so much more respect for him.

    Humility is just as important for the Dominant as it is for the submissive and maybe more so……

    ~Mia~ xx

    1. Whenever Master T and I talk after a play session, He really listens to what I have to say and take it to heart. That makes me feel incredibly safe with Him, because I know He really cares.

      Rebel xox

  2. I completely agree.
    My relationship with Princess is a very serious and intense one. I love, trust and respect her. She has given me her submissiveness and I do everything in my power to help her, guide her and make her feel good during every moment we are together. Taking care of her in the broadest meaning of the word is such grand pleasure.
    Do I serve my Princess? You bet I do and I am honored being able to.

  3. AMEN! I so totally agree with him. If it were just someone serving me then I would get a working girl who likes some kinky play. To me it is a very serious relationship, even closer and deeper than a traditional marriage. Now being a potential polly couple doesn’t change my respect or commitment you my sub any more than it would change it for her.
    *crawls off my soap box and back to the shadows*

  4. While I have not fallen totally into the lifestyle I believe that his words are truth in what makes a wonderful relationship. Unfortunately, thanks to books like 50 shades, too many think otherwise. Regardless of how one gets into a D/s relationship it is always to be one of mutual respect and caring from both parties.

    1. 50 Shades… oh don’t even get me started on the damage those books have done. Like you say – mutual respect and caring from both parties. That’s how it should be!

      Rebel xox

  5. His opinion is forceful, almost ranty, and yet I completely agree with him. A good D/s relationship is based on serving the needs in one another not on one person giving their all and the other taking it.


  6. I’m still just learning and getting into the lifestyle with my wonderful new girlfriend, but I agree wholeheartedly. If I didn’t care, it could be dangerous for both people.

  7. Amen indeed. I have written often and voluminously about the wonderful dichotomy of the M/s relationship. Think about this, if the Master leads, disciplines, encourages, rewards, grows his slave, if he watches her every movement to see when to stop, when to hit harder, when to deny her orgasm when to allow it, she becomes HIS focus.
    When he makes her become more than she was, to grow past fears and find freedom in chains and strength in kneeling, he is her trainer, teacher, guide and mentor.
    If the relationship is healthy, he serves her as much as he serves him.
    The rest is foreplay

  8. Reading posts like this make me realise that I’m so lucky that my first experience with a Dom has been with Stephen. My wellbeing is his top concern when we’re playing and he’s man enough to accept and admit when he makes a mistake. I trust him more because of it, and it’s helped our relationship to grow. Now, I wouldn’t accept anything less.

    Not that he’s letting me go anywhere with anyone mind, and I’m quite happy to keep it that way 😉

    1. My first experience with a D/s relationship also is with my Husband and yes, He cares for my well being too. I think you and I and a couple of others are very lucky for having such wonderful marriages! 🙂

  9. I agree whole heartedly. That care and concern for my well being, that push to make me better, is what makes him a better Dom to me, which in turn reaffirms my complete submission to him. Giving someone you’re complete submission means that they such great responsibility of you, and if they did not have that care FOR YOU
    they would not take the best case OF YOU. Great post!

  10. I totally agree! A Dom is there to serve just as much as a sub is. Without a sub, what can a Dom do? It’s two halves of the same coin, and to keep your sub/Dom you have to make allowances and factor in the other person’s desires. Simple, isn’t it?

    1. I totally agree with you, it’s simple! It’s give and take in a D/s relationship, just like it’s give in take in any vanilla relationship.

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