No is not enough

Needy. Horny. More needy than horny.

Life happened. A huge fight in our house had upset the balance in our daily lives. Not a fight between Master T and me though. We have never had a fight for as long as we are together. But I am digressing.

The balance had returned and with it, my lust. My need. It had been too long.

no1In bed I impulsively told Master T that I was horny, that I was in need. He knew immediately what I meant. I was lying on my right side, facing Him. I really wanted Him to touch me, but I felt I had already said too much.
“Show me where you want to be touched,” He said.
“No,” I said, “I am going to sleep.”
I really regretted telling Him about my need. My eyes were closed, but I heard Him switch off the television, take His glasses off and I felt Him turning on His left side to face me. He reached for my left breast.

I winced and writhed when He instantly pinched my nipple. Hard. I moaned. I turned my head into the pillow to muffle the sounds coming from my throat. He held on tight. I moaned louder. I tried to get away but He only tightened His grip. I tried to pry open His fingers to release my nipple, but to no avail. My sounds escaped into the pillow. I was panting when at last He let go of my nipple. I felt Him reach for the right nipple, but held my arms in front of my breasts. He tried to push them aside, but I fought Him. I pushed His hand away. Pushed it away again. Fought Him. Moaned. Pushed. Fought.

He broke through my defense. My right nipple was caught in a vice grip between his thumb and forefinger. I tried to get away, then tried to push it into His hand to see whether He would ease His grip. Nothing worked. My face was buried in my pillow again. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I fought Him harder than before. I wanted to get away from the pain. In my head there was a thought that kept on repeating itself: do not do this to me because I asked, but do it because you want to do it. It was like a chant: Over and over and over I repeated those words in my head.

Somehow the words started to faint. Something was happening in my head. The hurt was still there, I was still trying to get away from it. The words were still there, but they started to faint, until they suddenly stopped. There was room in my head for me to process the pain. The pain seemed to lessen, even though He did not loosen His grip. The fight in me changed to surrender. I relaxed, leaning into the pain that He was causing. I allowed the pain, accepted it, embraced it. I became aware of the wetness between my legs. My body relaxed, my moans of pain turned to moans of passion. With one last hard pinch, He let go of my right nipple.

I was out of breath.
“Turn on your back,” He said.
Obediently, I did. I was not fighting Him anymore. The pain returned to my nipples once I was on my back.

No more fighting.

Only acceptance.

And submission.

To His will.

After an hour in which that point was proven over and over again, I was sore in many places, but smiling and feeling extremely satisfied.

Even though I had asked for it, I knew He would not have touched me if He did not want to.

© Rebel’s Notes