What does Wikipedia have to say about collars?

In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material placed around the neck of the submissive partner. It is also a term used to show ownership of one partner by another. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal “collaring ceremonies,” which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck and often has metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash.

Then, a quote from the Submissive Guide:

The collar is the most outward symbol that a submissive can wear that was given to them by their Dominant. It is usually the most important piece of jewelry worn on a daily basis. There are many different ways to think about your collar. Some consider it equal to an engagement ring or wedding band. The commitment that they feel in the relationship makes it that important. For others it is a strong symbol of commitment but not of the same calibre as a wedding ring. Further yet, there are people who feel their collar is just a symbol and nothing more. There is a wide spectrum of others who feel somewhere in the middle of it all. There is no one correct way to feel about your collar.

I have 7 collars:
* 4 collars used during play
* 1 night collar, which I sleep with every night
* 2 discrete day collars

The first three collars were bought long before we made the commitment to our D/s relationship. I had no idea why it felt so good when Master T put them around my neck. I felt beautiful, wanted, protected, loved. I never questioned my feelings, I just accepted that the collars gave me a special feeling. The first collar came with cuffs, the second was my Histoire d’O collar and the third was a more rigid leather collar. The fourth collar and my night collar were bought on the same day. The night collar is a thin, gold colored collar with a slave ring on it. I have grown so accustomed to sleep with it, that I just cannot go without it anymore. The other play collar has a soft inner part, and the outside is covered with silver colored steel. I have matching wrist and ankle cuffs for this steel covered collar.

When I started wearing my night collar, I wanted to wear a day collar too. I was happy when Master T agreed to this and ended up buying two day collars, which look more or less the same. I had to buy the second one, since the first one had too much metal in it, which reacted to my body because it contains trace amounts of nickel. Ever since I have my day collars, I wear them every day. Up to now, no one has asked me why I wear the same around my neck every day. Only one person has mentioned that it’s a remarkable piece of jewelry, to which I have said thank you and I did not elaborate.

What does my collars mean to me?

My day collars links me to Him, even though we are apart. I don’t need to be reminded that I am His, but I cannot help to smile at my reflection in the mirror and think that I am truly His. Many times during the day I touch the O-ring on my day collar and think of Him, sometimes with a memory of the night before or with excitement of something that we have planned.

My night collar makes me feel safe. I do not put it around my neck – He does. When He does, it feels like He is claiming me as His all over again. Every night. It just makes me feel so special.

The four play collars all have the same effect. The moment I feel them around my neck, I feel submissive. I am not allowed to look at Him when I wear any of these four collars. That alone makes me feel small, makes me want to submit to everything that He expects of me. Two of the four collars – the one we bought first and the more rigid one – hurt when they are around my neck. One night, when I was punished, Master T put the rigid one around my neck. I started to call these two collars my punishment collars because they both hurt. Therefore I try to avoid having either of these around my neck.

We have not had something like a collaring ceremony, but my collar is immensely important to me. Maybe not as important as my wedding ring, but definitely a close second. In a period of 24 hours I am without a collar for an average of only two hours. For the rest of the time I am always with a collar, be it my day collar, my night collar or a collar used for play or punishment.

Without one of my collars around my neck, I feel naked.
(click photos to enlarge and browse)


© Rebel’s Notes

19 thoughts on “Collars

  1. The two of us should put our posts together, as I found a lot in yours that rang true for me too 🙂

    Rebel xox

  2. I have a lot of collars as well. Like yours, some are strictly for play, some are for punishment and some are for casual/daytime endeavours. My day collars are necklaces really, but I get the same feeling from them that you get from yours. I often find myself reaching to touch it every now and then to make sure it’s still there and it soothes me when it is. I also like to look in the mirror so I can see them properly. As we don’t live together, I have to take off and put on my day collar most of the time to protect it from water but it always feels best when he does it. Sometimes I can’t manage on my own and other have had to help me, which just feels wrong. It only makes me happy when he does it.

    1. I feel the same about my night collar: I don’t like to put it on myself. I do take it off in the morning as I am always up before Him and don’t want to run into one of the kids. I also put my daytime collar on myself and take it off, but all the other collars are always put on and taken off by Him. That’s the way it should be, in our opinion 🙂

      Rebel xox

  3. What beautiful set of collars Rebel 🙂 Glad they make you feel united to your other half. I know mine aren’t a part of d/s but when my Bad Kitty bought me my costume collar there was a pride there that wouldn’t come from a bracelet or a necklace.

    Thanks for sharing 🙂

  4. Your collars are lovely, and I am glad they have such deep meaning for you. As an aside, the “formal” collar my ex bought me is almost exactly like the one in your top right photo (the steel covered.) I LOVED that collar, everything about it, but because it had such deep meaning to me, when our D/s relationship dissolved (along with our marriage) I couldn’t stand to look at it. Eventually I think I actually threw it out, it hurt so much.

  5. Interesting how collars have been part of your relationship and that mix and purpose of them has changed over time. The pictures add a wonderful touch to really show the differences.

    1. Indeed, it changed over time. It was almost as if He had collared me long before either of us knew the true meaning of it. I wear my collars with pride 🙂

  6. I love the way you describe how your collars make you feel – just the simple act of feeling it around your neck and your change of head space. They’re powerful things! Anna x

  7. I think you really captured the essence of the theme this week with your very lovely and insightful take on collars. I really enjoyed reading about all of yours, the circumstances under which they are worn, and what each one means to you. I found the night collar insight very compelling. I always enjoy reading your posts.

  8. Very excellent piece! My girls both have a day-wear collar, though not an actual collar. They both wear a dog tag with their name on it and my name in the Owner area. My wife just has my name, our kitten has mine then my wife’s name.

    Both have true collars for times when it’s appropriate to wear. It took my wife awhile to understand what being collared meant. And, well, took the kitten awhile to accept hers, as her previous Dom refused to collar her, though he kept promising.

    Some people think collars ate toys. True collaring is, as you said, akin to marriage. One doesn’t go collar every sub they find.

    1. I find the different collars you have mentioned very interesting and indeed, people should not think about collars as toys. They definitely are not!

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