In November of last year I had a post about bisexuality and how I first was ashamed of it, but have come to accept it about myself. One male reader of my blog left a comment on it and since he has put so much effort into the comment, I wanted to follow up on this comment in a new blog post. I would love to get a discussion going on this subject.
This was the essential part of his comment:
Bisexuality. Problematic, as becomes clear in your blog. Personally I don’t have any problem with it. But that’s easy, because I’m bisexual too, up to a certain degree. But, having read your blog, I started to think about how I would react if my wife told me she was bisexual and was having sex with a woman or women. To be frank, I’m not sure how I would react. My first impulse – here and now – is: no problem, do as you please, you only live once, enjoy, make the most of it. But I’m not sure that I could practice what I preach. Maybe I would be jealous, maybe I would be afraid to lose her, surely it would make me feel uncertain: what am I doing wrong?
I guess lots of men do have serious problems with bisexuality. Of course, in the pub they boast that it would be fun if the wife brought a girlfriend home: screw them both! But I guess many men would have the same hang-ups and fears as described above. And furthermore I think that bisexuality amongst men is far more widely spread than my brothers would ever dare to admit! And amongst women as well. Image a scale from 0 to 100. Zero is 100% heterosexual and 100 totally gay, whilst 50 is the perfect bisexual. I’m convinced that you find most men (75%) (I can’t speak for women) between a score of 25 till 75. So a rather small percentage is either basically hetero- or homosexual.
I’ve got a test to prove that. When it comes to watch porn, men who are really profoundly heterosexual like to watch ‘lesbian’ movies. And the more men are tending to be 50/50 they like to watch movies with lots of penises in full close ups.
But I do think as well that lots of men can’t handle bisexuality. Neither for themselves, nor for their partners. For the latter, see above. For the first: bi/homosexuality is such an enormous issue. You rather deny it and suffer, than take the risk of being exposed as a fucking poof, queer, mietje, poot, or whatever.
You have had your share in your life in this respect , but finally you’ve come to peace with it. Good for you! And good for Hubby (if I may call him so). Or: came to peace, finally you dare to enjoy this lovely expansion of your personality. And why not? People are beautiful (most of them), men are beautiful, women are beautiful There’s so much to explore, so much to enjoy, so much to make you wanna sing and dance. I have a vivid memory of the first time I made love with my best male friend. It felt like coming home. Of course, it was horny, exiting, etc. But the immense pride I felt! I think you recognize what I say.
To start with the last line – yes, the very first time I was with a woman, I felt pride. Then it gradually went sour. I was with her many times after that, for about nine months before I ended it. For many years I had no bisexual encounters. Between Dena and the other woman I have ended it wit, I had one unexpected bisexual encounter. With Dena it felt like the first time again. And again I felt pride. For many reasons, I felt pride. Each time I am with Dena, I feel more at ease than the first time, more confident.
The comment mentions that men might have more problems with bisexuality than women have. It immediately made me think of an article that stated that almost all women are bisexual. I wanted to share this article, but unfortunately I could not find it. Do you think that most of the women are bisexual? And what about what the writer said above: do you think that bisexuality among men is more widespread than men would care to admit? What kind of porn movies do my male readers watch? And how do you identify yourself sexually? And ladies, that special man in your life: what kind of porn does he like to watch? Of course I immediately thought about Master T. We are both more into watching women in porn movies than men.
Men out there, how would you react if your wife comes home and tell you she had sex with her best friend? Can you imagine yourself in a position like that? Can you even imagine how you would feel? If you now say you would be okay with it and you would like to have both of them in your bed, do you really mean it or are you just saying it to conceal your real feelings? Will you be jealous? Will you feel left out? Or will you be happy for your wife and share the sexiness with her – not by having both the women in your bed, but by giving her the room to explore her sexual self? And ladies, what would you do if the situation is turned around? If your man comes home and tell you he had sex with his best friend?
From the very first moment Master T and I were in contact He knew that I am bisexual and He never saw it as a threat to our relationship. Neither did He boast and say He would want two women in His bed. No, He respected my choice when I told Him I was not ready to be with a woman again. He allowed me the room to explore that side of me, with only one condition added to it: He is there with me, always. Not because He wants to have sex with the other woman too, but He wants to watch. He wants to be there and enjoy, because yes, when I enjoy, He does too.
As said in the beginning of this post, I would love to hear your opinions on this. Let’s get a (respectful) discussion started 🙂
© Rebel’s Notes
The prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday was #discussion
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