Continued from… Day 26
Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?
I do indeed have submissive desires and fantasies, other that wanting to be able to submit to my Husband more than I can at this moment, due to our family circumstances. As long as there are children living under the same roof as us, this will be a daily burning desire in me. We are quite good at finding our ways around it, but just not enough. Anyone with children will know how difficult that is.
When I first answered this question some months ago, I answered it as follows:
Another fantasy/desire is to be in the same room with Master T. and one, or maybe two people. It can be one man, or one woman or a couple. Or, if Master T. can get His way, two men. If there is only one man in the room, I would want Him to dominate me under the watchful eye of Master T. If there are two men in the room, I would like them to have their way with me. I know Master T. will tell them up front what they are allowed to do. I will be the only one who does not know what will follow and that is so hot! If there are only another woman in the room, I would not want her to dominate me the same way a man would, but I would love for her to take the lead, as that definitely is not a strong point of mine. If there is a couple in the room with us, I can imagine both me and the other woman being dominated by Master T. and the other man.
I would love to be with a woman, but only if Master T. is in the room too. Partly this is a deep desire of me to be with a woman again and partly I want to please Master T. because I know He would love to see me and another woman making love. Both desires are equally strong… wanting to please Him and wanting to be with a woman.
In the meantime I have experienced some of that fantasy in real life. Another man has dominated me while my Husband watched. He pinched my nipples, fingered me, kissed me, spanked me, flogged me. I have been with a woman, not a woman who took the lead, but a very sexy, soft and lovable woman. I guess it is clear what fantasies remain, but I can also say that what I have experienced up to now, I would love to experience again, and again. I know no two times will be the same, but I know that it will be good every time!
My desires do not confuse or frighten me at all. Yes, when I am in a new situation I am nervous and I am afraid I might fail or might not be good enough. But when I am with people who accept me as I am, the way Master R. and Dena have done, then I can relax and give myself. Yes, I am still nervous and I will be for next meetings, but I know the better we get to know each other, the more I will relax.
When I forget about my fears of possible failure, my fantasies and desires excite me very much. And not only me, because I know when Master T. and I talk about them, it excites Him too!
To be continued… Day 28
© Rebel’s Notes