Continued from… Day 24
Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?
I indeed have some ‘rituals’ that represent my submission. We call these my standing orders.
* I have to wear my nipple charms every day. Only with permission am I allowed to leave them off.
Feeling the nipple charms on my nipples, especially when my nipples hurt a bit, awakens the submissive feeling towards my Husband wherever I am and no matter whether He is in the same room with me or not. There were occasions on which I forgot to ask for permission not to wear my charms, and for that I have been punished. It helped to remind me to ask for permission the next time.
* I have to shave my pussy every day and present it to Him to check.
I have actually been shaving my pussy almost every day for as long as I can remember, but I sometimes had the urge just not to do it or I was just not in the mood for it. I would let the fluff grow back for three or four days and then shave because it itched too much. It happened a couple of times that I had to apologize to Master T. that I have not shaved. So He made it a standing order. I have to shave daily and I have to let Him check whether it’s done properly. Granted, He does not check it every day as sometimes He is already out of the bedroom by the time I wake up, but I always shave because I never know whether He can unexpectedly perform a check. I want to please Him.
* Whenever I wear my collar, I have to wear high heels too.
Master T. loves high heels and He loves the proud posture I have when I wear them. It did not take Him long to make it compulsory for me to wear my high heels whenever I wear my collar. He decides which heels I have to wear, be it my sandals, pumps or some boots. I feel very sexy wearing high heels, but sometimes my feet hurt quite quickly, depending on the way He wants me to stand. For instance, when I have to stand with my legs spread, my feet start to burn underneath quite quickly. This, however, never is an excuse not to wear my heels.
* I always have to ask permission to orgasm.
I think that says enough. It does not matter whether we are in the midst of a session or whether He quickly fingers me in the kitchen or the car… I am not allowed to climax without His permission. This tends to make me very aware of every orgasm, but it also sometimes happens that when I have asked for permission, it takes a while before the orgasm materializes. And sometimes I climax only a millisecond after He has given permission and I know that if I have waited longer to ask, I would not have been able to stop my orgasm.
* All requests for any interaction should be directed to Master T.
This is a rule that Master T. has dictated after some incidents where I have been hurt bad and where I handled making an appointment poorly. All requests – be it for me to be photographed, for me to be sexually ‘used’ or even if only to meet for a coffee – should be addressed to Master T. He will then decide whether I can continue with making the plans (under His watchful eye) or whether He will take over all communications. With this rule we are not trying to get people to dance to our tunes, but this is just another way in which Master T. protects me, since I tend to get all caught up in my emphatic nature and then I forget about my own needs and wants and put that of the other person (even if a stranger) ahead of mine.
These standing orders are not difficult to follow and some more has been and might be added in future. Their significance to me is that I feel safe because of them. I like rules. I like to know what I may do and what not. I like to know what is expected of me. I need the rules and I need my standing orders.
To be continued… Day 26
© Rebel’s Notes