30 Days of Submission: Day 20

Continued from… Day 19

Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

As I did with the questions of some of the other days, I will split the questions above again and answer them separately.

Has your submission increased or decreased over time?

Over time I have felt my submission deepening, which in my opinion will indeed count for my submission increasing. As I started to think more about my submission and we started this journey of ours, things started to take shape. I felt my feelings intensify. It is hard to describe but it was as if I felt something pulling to wanting to submit myself even more. There was even moments where I wanted nothing more than to submit myself to Master T. 24/7. I knew that this was not possible, due to our family situation. However, in the past couple of months our mindset has definitely changed from ‘only in the bedroom’ to 24/7 D/s. Something else I wanted and still frequently want, is to sit or lie at his feet every night, but this too is not possible, yet again because of our family situation.

So many times I sat here looking at Him and when He looked back, I could almost feel myself slip into subspace. My body and soul screamed to be dominated.  I still have the moments that I feel like this, but Master T. sets the pace and I am not allowed to rush anything. He is the one who keeps a balance and prevents me from going totally overboard. He knows how much I need my submission, to feel that I belong to Him. And He knows best how to fit it in with our family situation.

Yes, my submission has increased over time and I hope it will increase more and that our situation will change in such a way that we have more opportunities to live our D/s relationship the way we want to.

Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

We have never really renegotiated anything regarding my submission or our D/s relationship as such. We have evolved to a next stage though, in which I have told Master T. that I needed and wanted more. The base rules are still the same, but my feelings has intensified. Our circumstances – a family with kids – have not changed and will not for some years to come. Until then we will just have to make do and live our D/s relationship as best as our circumstances allow us too. It means we have to and will be creative!

To be continued… Day 21

© Rebel’s Notes

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