30 Days of Submission: Day 13

Continued from… Day 12

Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?

As I did in the past, I am going to split the questions up again so I can answer them one by one.

Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission?

Yes, it is.

Why or why not?

When we started out on our D/s journey, I have committed myself to giving up control to my Husband. We have discussed everything – our wishes, our desires, our limits – and came to the conclusion that with our family life the way it is, I cannot give up control in all aspects of my life. That simply was not possible. The one part where I have given up all control, is on a sexual level. My Husband decides what happens to my body. He decides when I will have sex, with whom I will have sex, when I will climax and how many climaxes I will have.

Coming to think of it… Ever since we have embarked on the D/s journey I have only once  masturbated without His consent and even had an orgasm without asking for permission. I have been duly punished for this (story to follow). Before the D/s, if I was horny, I would easily have masturbated in the bedroom or in the shower and climaxed without even thinking of telling Him about it. I just do not anymore, unless I have His permission for it.

Since I take my body with me at all times of the day, wherever I am, His control can be felt in other areas of my life too. It can be as simple as thinking about the charms around my nipples when I am at my work, or Him kissing me and firmly squeezing my breast when I am cooking dinner and there is a possibility of one of the kids walking into the kitchen.

Something that I had to get used to and which I sometimes still have difficulty with is when I am tired. I have grown used to the fact that when I am tired and I mention this to Master T. He would just let me sleep. However, that has changed. If He is horny it does not matter how tired I am – He will demand me to be available. I said I had to get used to it, but I would lie if I tell you that I hate it. In fact, I love it!!! Even if I’m tired and at the very moment want nothing else than to go to sleep, I love it. I want Him to use my body, to use me. Sometimes I feel the irritation, but somewhere during the sexual acts my mindset changes. And I always have a smile on my face when we’re done, no matter how tired I am.

Are there limits to this?

The only limit I can think about is that I do not have to be sexually available when I am ill. I have to keep Master T. updated on this. If I am unwell in any way, He will not demand me to be available for His needs. Other than that, there are no limits.

To be continued… Day 14

© Rebel’s Notes

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