Continued from… Day 7
Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Indeed, spanking or corporal punishment is part of my submission.
I need spankings.
I need them because they make me focus.
I need them because I need to feel the pain.
I need them because they make me wet.
I need them…
… because I miss them too much when they do not happen.
Being limited at home means we cannot make too much noise. When we started out this journey, Master T. spanked me almost every night. He told me it was to make me get used to feeling His hand or the flogger on my ass. I don’t think it’s possible to ever get used to it, but before I could even try, we stopped. Why? Because one of the kids made a remark about the ‘it sounds like skin on skin’ noises coming from our bedroom each night when we went to bed. The flogger can still be heard but is not as loud as a hand. I am not as fond of the flogger as when Master T. uses His bare hand to spank me. And something I do not like at all, but that indeed can almost not be heard at all, is the cane. I loathe it!
It happened twice that Master T. spanked me long enough for me to just let go. I tend to fight the pain, which to me means it hurts even more. On the two occasions that I at last let go, I felt as if I was in another world. I could let go of everything… everything that restricted me… everything that bothered me… all the stress in my body. It was only me, Master T. and the flogger. I cried on both occasions, but it felt so good. I crave to feel this again.
Spankings now only happen when I am punished. Whenever Master T. felt I needed to be punished for whatever reason, He would use the flogger or the cane. Mostly it means that I have to count down from… 25… 30… 5… 10… whatever He decides on. Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I want it to stop. Sometimes I only hate it when it stops.
And sometimes I miss them so much, that I try to evoke Master T. into giving me a spanking. Unfortunately, this mostly does not work.
I still crave the moment when I won’t be able to sit the next day, when I will feel the bruising of my ass each time that I want to sit down, when I will look at my ass and see the bruises. I know I will smile. But I guess I will have to wait for this when we are home alone, whenever that might happen.
I need spankings.
I need the spankings to focus… to feel… to keep me in line… to heal… to break down… to be picked up and held… to cry… to soar.
I need the spankings to be me.
To be continued… Day 9
© Rebel’s Notes