30 Days of Submission: Day 1

Continued from… The introduction

Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

We have two labels for our relationship. One of those simply is Husband and wife and the other is Dominant and submissive. As Husband and wife we are each other’s equals. Actually, I think it’s better to say that in our relationship, we are each other’s equals in everything, except on a sexual level. On a sexual level we are Dominant and submissive.

Both of us have grown up in traditional families, where the father was the head of the family, but the mother, whether working or not, had an equal say in how the family life was organized. The mother was mainly responsible for raising and looking after the kids. We both grew up with the knowledge that a man should protect his wife and children and provide for them.

By the time we met and got married, both of us had a lifetime (or maybe several) of experience behind us. Early in our relationship we talked about kinky sex, but only on some occasions played with cuffs or clamps or did other kinky things. It was only at the end of January 2011 that we committed ourselves to a D/s relationship, which means that a ‘label’ has been put on it.

Why did we make the commitment? It felt like a natural development in our relationship and love for each other. Somehow I have always been submissive towards my Husband. It just never had a name. And at the moment that we talked about it, I knew that I needed it. I wanted it. I had to feel his dominance, to feel my submission.

Why did I have to feel it? I find it very difficult to put these feelings into words. There is this deep longing in me to feel that He is in control. I want to know and feel that I am His to use in whichever way He wants to. I have this urge in me to submit to Him, to serve Him. In the eyes of the outside world I want to stand next to Him and be His wife, knowing that I am far more than only His wife. Our commitment to our D/s relationship has deepened the bond of love and marriage that is between us.

I know that my Husband and I are very privileged to be in the situation that we are in. I also know that the day might come that we will put a stop to our D/s relationship, but I hope the reason for the stop will be because we are just too old for it. Like one day when we are in an old aged home or something like that. However, I think even then, in my mind, I will always be submitting to Him. Looking back on our relationship before the day we made our commitment, I can see that I had already been submitting to him, but I just never realized it. It did not have a name, a label.

Yes, I am like that – sometimes quite oblivious of things going on around me or what certain things are called. I never knew that there was an entire BDSM community out there and I never knew that there was a name for the feelings that I had. I discovered it when in the early days of my blog and my being on twitter, I started to follow two blogs. I recognized so much about myself in it that I started searching the internet and found answers to the many unformulated questions that I had. It was during this search that I understood that the labels Dominant/submissive suited us better than Master/slave, Daddy/girl or Owner/pet. However, it does occur that our D/s relationship has elements of Daddy/girl and Owner/pet. Both Master T. and I feel more comfortable with the label Dominant/submissive, even though I refer to Him as my Master.

To the outside world we are Husband and wife, dad and mom. Sometimes only a glimmer in His eyes can bring me into a submissive mode… into subspace. Only He knows me well enough to see this. This – to me –  is the magic of our relationship.

To be continued… Day 2

© Rebel’s Notes

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