Day 14: Real life BDSM/kink vs fantasy BDSM/kink?

Question: Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

The biggest difference for me between fantasy BDSM/kink and real life BDSM/kink is that in real life you run into things that you do not think about when you fantasize about BDSM/kink. Allow me to explain…

In fantasy BDSM/kink I submit to my Husband for 100% and on every level of our relationship. He decides what I wear, when I wear it and where I wear it to. He has me running around naked on high heels all day long. I wear my cuffs – around my wrists and ankles – all day long and he can restrain me anytime he wants. My collar is around my neck all day long. I am at all times ready for his touch – to be hugged, to be kissed, to be flogged, to be pinched, to be fucked. In fantasy BDSM/kink only my Husband and me exist and nothing ‘interferes’ with our relationship.

In real life BDSM/kink I submit to my Husband. In my mind my submission is for 100%, but in our actions it is not. There are teenage kids running around and since kids nowadays pick up quite easily on things they should not, we live our D/s relationship only when the kids are not around. On all levels in our relationship we are equals, except for the sexual part. To never let me forget and as symbol of my submission my Husband had me tattooed. The kids have not even seen this yet and if I can help it, they never will. Whenever I look at my tattoo – which is very frequently – I lovingly think of my submission.

Unfortunately in our case fantasy BDSM/kink and real life BDSM/kink are totally different, but who knows what the future will bring. Up to the time when the kids have left home, our D/s relationship will be something only he and I know about.

(Funnily enough, the day that I wrote this, someone dear to me wrote something similar, something I totally agree with! Read the post here.)

(written on 21.08.2011)

© Rebel’s Notes

One thought on “Day 14: Real life BDSM/kink vs fantasy BDSM/kink?

  1. Well said. BDSM for long term has to be practical. For my partner and I, we are peer-to-peer except when he decides that we aren't. 🙂 It works. And because I have a naturally sub personality, he tends to pick out what we do, where we eat, etc.
    It wouldnt be fair to either the top or the bottom to expect 24/7 intense D/s interaction all the time.

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