Hubby and I had a talk. Okay, not really a talk. We were e-mailing each other when He said that He would love to see me with other people. He would like to offer me to someone (male or female), to be used, while He watches. This is something we have spoken about many times before. I told Him (yep, still in e-mail) that I am getting used to the idea of being with someone else while He watches. However, with my body in aches and pains, nothing can yet come of this. This is something Hubby has decided. He is protecting me against myself, because I would go on and on and just ignore the warnings coming from my body.
Then He asked me: what would be the ideal first step for you (apart from the fact that you are mine and you will just have to do what I tell you). I answered that the ideal first step will probably not be sex, but touching, fondling, something like that. But that I have never really thought about what I would want, not consciously anyway. Our conversation carried on, about different possibilities, but since I was quite overwhelmed by His question, I could not give a clear answer.
This e-mail conversation has sparked some thoughts in my mind. For days now I have been wondering how it would be. Will my Husband ever come to the point where He orders me to allow someone else to touch me? Or to fuck me? How will it be for me to be with someone else, while He watches? Will I be able to enjoy it? Will I even be able to do it? I will have to, when ordered, but how will it make me feel? Writing this and thinking about it excites me, but if it really happens, will I be excited too? I have the feeling that whenever this happens, horniness might take over and I will enjoy such an encounter. But as with many things, it first has to happen before I can know how I will react. What I know for sure is that I would love to please Him. I want to execute all His orders. I know it’s very kind of Him to have talked to me about this, to not only hear what my ideas are on this subject, but to give me the time to get used to this idea of Him offering me to someone else.
Then, while all these thoughts and questions raced through my mind, I came across a post of ‘trblmaker’. The question in that post was in line with the thoughts and questions I had about being shared with someone else. The question was:
When meeting “new friends” ……
Do you …
A. Work yourself up and expect things to happen the 1st time you meet?
B. Just relax, and let things go where they may?
And then I knew. I am definitely a “B”.
I have always said that I do not like to plan sex. I want to be able to just relax and to let things go where they may. I never even planned when I would have sex with my Husband. That too always ‘just happen’. So I think now I might have a clear answer for my Husband. I would want to just be with Him and whoever He chooses to ‘give’ me to and I would ‘go with the flow’. It might be that he has set the rules for such an encounter, in other words whether it will be only touching & fondling or whether it will be sex. It might be that He gives the other the permission to do with me whatever he/she wants to. I will be the one who obeys, who does what I am expected to do. The one thing I deeply desire is to obey my Husband!
I still don’t know how I would feel when I am with someone else and He watches me, but I know if He desires of me to be with someone else for His pleasure, I will do so. The ideal first step? That is for Him to decide!
© Rebel’s Notes