Safe Dating

online dating

The questions for this week’s Food for Thought Friday are as follows:

So, you’re on a date and it’s going well; very well… The chemistry is there, the attraction is there. All that both of you really want to do at this point is take it somewhere private and move things up to the next level, as it were.

On the assumption that both of you are definitely up for getting down, what we want to know this week is:

Does it matter how many dates you have had up to this point?
If it was clear things were definitely heading in that direction, would it make any difference if this were a first or subsequent date?
What, if any, are your “rules” for dating and sex?

In a way this post ties in with last week’s post where I said I need to connect with people when we have play dates with them. You see, that’s the only kind of dates that are possible these days, as I am a happily married woman, but with a taste for other men when my man allows it.

However, before Master T there were others. Quite a lot of others.

When the chemistry was there and we both were into it, it didn’t matter how many dates we had up to that point, sex would happen. I was the only one who decided about it, as I was single and didn’t have to take anyone else into account. Sometimes those encounters weren’t safe, not because of possible diseases or so, but because of my personal safety. Luckily nothing bad ever happened.

Nowadays, when we arrange a play date, there will be absolutely no sex on the first date. That is one of the rules Master T and I have. Normally we arrange for a real life date after I have been talking to someone for some time and there is a click, online. The first date is mostly a coffee or a lunch date, to see whether I real life there is the same click that I felt online. If not, a second date might follow, but it will always only be a coffee or lunch date, never sex. You see, I might like the person, might want to see them again, but the person in question might not arouse me in any sexual way. I prefer to be honest about my arousal and sex drive, so I will not have sex with someone just because I can. It is not fair to the person and not fair to myself.

Back before I met Master T, and after my leaving my former husband, I had absolutely no rules for dating or sex. If I could get it, I took it. In hindsight I was totally disrespectful to myself and if a man told me he wanted me, I had weak knees, rolled over and allowed them to fuck me. Like I said, I sometimes got into situations that weren’t safe at all, especially the one night with the fireman. I think he was the one who made me realize how stupid I was to just go with someone I didn’t know, only because he told me he liked me so much and wanted to fuck me. Back then I just didn’t use my brains. After that I didn’t date for some time and not long after that, Master T came along.

Back then I might not have had any rules, but together with Master T I do. First coffee, and if there is a click, Master T and the man in question will talk to each other and arrange a second date, which will mostly end somewhere in a hotel room without me knowing what they have in mind for the date. This is the way I prefer it, because if I know beforehand what will happen, it will be boring. I prefer not to know, even though that makes me nervous.

Back when Master T and I dated, things started out with him and I meeting at a station, where I got into his car and we talked for about two hours before he took me home. On the way home, he held my hand, which I really liked. We met a second time and the same happened and I think it was only on the third date that he kissed me and maybe on the fifth or sixth date that he fingered me and maybe the tenth date that I jumped him. Yep… I took him totally by surprise but I just didn’t want to wait any longer!

Dating with others is something we haven’t done for the first five years of our relationship and something we haven’t done for the past year. But, there has been quite some dates and I believe there will be a lot more. You see, we do have one ground rule: we are ALWAYS together. Our relationship is more important than any other relationship we can have and as long as both of us cannot enjoy dates with others, it will just not happen. Once Master T is better, we will start dating again…

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Food for Thought Friday


The A to Z Blogging Challenge
The Letter K

In this fifth year of participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I am taking words from my regular post starting with the letter of the day, and looking at the meaning of those words. Today is for words starting with โ€˜Kโ€™ and I have chosen to look at ‘kind’, ‘kiss’ & ‘knees’.

kind

When a group of things or people have the same characteristics, they are if the same ‘kind’, but the word can also refer to someone’s character. Someone can be cruel, where someone else can be kind. It also means affectionate or loving.

kiss

Who doesn’t know this word. When two pairs of lips touch, it’s called a kiss, but when lips touch a hand or a cheek or any other part of the body, it can be called a kiss too. A kiss is a touch or a caress with the lips. The best kind of kissing I have is when Master T looks deep into my eyes, lowers his lips to mine and give me the gentlest of kisses which sets my insides on fire!

knees

The joint between your thigh and your lower leg is the body part that is called the knee. Master T always says it’s the ugliest part of a body (no offense). But, when I think of knees I think of myself kneeling in front of him, or standing on my knees and waiting for him to enter me from behind, doggy style!

ยฉ Rebel’s Notes

3 thoughts on “Safe Dating

  1. KInkyKrissy says:

    i met my future husband on my 30th bday. we met in a chatroom, and we’d talked several times on the phone/ i’d invited him to meet me, we were separated by 1300 miles, and he was 10 years older than i was.. . we’d agreed that if things didnt “work out”, or if i wanted him to leave that he would, no questions asked.
    we hit it off right away, ๐Ÿ™‚ sitting on the couch watching a movie, his hands found the button and zipper of my shorts, it wasnt long (20 minutes or so) before i willingly spread my legs, and his tongue was busy on my clit. i came hard and fast, i jumped up grabbed him by the hand and was leading him towards MY bedroom, when i suddenly decided wanted his cock in my mouth……
    i’d NEVER let anyone get into my pants that quickly before

    we sucked and fucked until the early hours, when he finally fell asleep. it was an awesome 3 days, i dont think my ex fucked that that many times the whole 9 years we were married… i moved in with him 6 months later, and have together for almost 20 years now..

  2. I think it is so often the case that our “rules” change as our circumstances change. What was “right” once upon a time may no longer be “right” now and there are things that are “right” now that our younger selves would never have done, either through confidence, experience or it just would never have occurred.

    In my experience of the swinging scene, you approach that you and Master T have of a social date first and then, possibly a play date if the social works out, seems quite a common arrangement.

  3. alan_inlondon says:

    a girl should always feel safe and i only have sex on the second or third date if she wants it and says so – gently pushing the boundaries by getting my fingers into her pants does not necessarily mean that she wants to have sex – i need her to say to me something like – ohhhhhh yessss lets do it or she can use much cruder language

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