Bisexual

bisexual

In my #GetToKnowMe series of tweets I tweeted:

bisexual

I identify as bisexual.

I know there has been many posts on labels and their use and whether one should use labels, as they might limit too much. I have blogged about labels too and lately I have been thinking about them again.

For many years – and still – I have identified as being bisexual. I have never felt limited by this label. In fact, it has helped to ‘explain’ to others one part of my personality. One part. Being bisexual is not all of who I am. I am also kinky, but still ‘bisexual’ and ‘kinky’ are but two elements of the whole me.

The whole me is made of many elements, elements that are like facets on a diamond. Some of those elements are sexual and some not. I am a mother and a daughter, a grandmother, a friend, a colleague. None of those are sexual, but they as much part of me as the sexual ones.

Recently I had a talk with my son about labels and we discovered that we have the same opinion of them, or rather, that we both are of the opinion that they are needed but not defining. He talks online a lot and sometimes people ‘confess’ things to him. One person told him ‘I’m gay’ and my son only replied ‘okay’. The person wanted to know if my son wasn’t shocked with the announcement, but he wasn’t. It was a given. The person was gay and that was it. There was no reason to be shocked or to question it or have a lengthy discussion about it. It was just a given fact.

He and I both view every sexual or non-sexual label the same. This doesn’t mean that we never discuss it when we learn about someone’s label. Sometimes there are questions we have to ask to fully understand what a label means, how it defines a person.

For instance, when I say I am bisexual, to me it might mean something totally different than the next woman who says she identifies as bisexual. For one woman being bisexual means she can be in a fulltime relationship with a woman and to the next it means she can occasionally have sex with a woman, but prefers to be in a relationship with a man.

I have learned that my view of bisexuality is colored by my own bisexual nature. Let me explain…

I am bisexual and I love engaging in sex with a woman, but I prefer to be in a relationship with a man. When a woman tells me that she’s bisexual, in the past I tended to think that she too prefers to be in a relationship with a man. Of course, there were times when I was totally wrong and I have learned not to automatically assume that my frame of reference is the only right one.

I identify as bisexual, but that doesn’t define me. There’s so much more to me than only that.

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5 thoughts on “Bisexual

  1. When I realised that I had no interest in being in a relationship with a woman I reassessed my bisexual label and decided that hetroflexible felt more appropriate for me but as you say those labels don’t define me but I define them

    Mollyx

  2. I agree with you – for me, you put it very succinctly by saying –

    There was no reason to be shocked or to question it or have a lengthy discussion about it. It was just a given fact.

    ๐Ÿ˜‰ x

  3. alan_inlondon says:

    excellent thoughts and explanation – i also like the way your son thinks. i am similar i dont mind anyone’s sexual orientation, and if i dont understand it i will ask.
    i like to think that i have an open mind and will chat happily to anyone

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